Into The Fire
by Darthnikki
Summary: Sequel to Out Of The Frying pan. Where is Dean ? Can John find him in time before its too late ? Or has he already lost his son to the yellowed eyed demon ?
1. Chapter 1

_**Authors note; Ok so this is the sequel to **__**Out Of The Frying Pan **__**hope you all enjoy it. I'm glad that those who did leave a review liked it so much . I was pretty nervous to do a story and put it up on the net, but after reading so many wonderful stories I thought what the hey. I love ' Brotherhood ' stories and am totally crushing on Caleb Reaves's character in them. Check them out most are done by Ridley. C . James and Tidia. But there are others who write to, think they're the main dudes though. Anyway…………………again not sure how long this is going to be so am just going to let the creative juices flow and see where it goes.**_

_**Into The Fire .**_

_Bright sunlight shone through the curtained window casting rays of warm sunshine onto spots in the room as if heaven was ordaining it in blessed light. Dean opened his groggy eyes and tried to lift his hands to rub the sleep from them. But his hands wouldn't move, panicked Deans eyes snapped to attention and he took in his surroundings. He was in a clean white room with minimum furniture, pale green drapes hung at the windows, for all purposes it looked like he was in a hospital, but hadn't he been at the farm last night ? He was sure that he and Sammy had been staying with the Pastor…. " Sammy… " he whispered. He tried to move his hands again and frowned when once again he was met with resistance, Dean looked to his wrists to find himself in restraints at the wrists and lifting his head from his pillow he found his ankles where also restrained. " Well crap that can't be good " he spoke the thought allowed, took a calming breath and looked around the room once more " Sammy ? Sammy where are you ? " There was no reply and Dean felt a stab of fear, where the hell was he and where was his little brother ?_

_He felt the panic starting to rise in his chest and tried to take calming breaths like his dad had taught him, but the fear clutching at his heart was too great and he found himself gasping and pulling at the binds that held him in place. It was then that he heard the door unlock and a man in a white coat entered his room followed by two other younger men dressed in white scrubs, Dean watched them intently ' know your enemy ' ran through his mind the words coming to him in John Winchesters commanding voice. _

_The men hadn't spoken yet and Dean kept watch taking in their appearance, the guy in the white coat looked to be at least 10 years older than his dad maybe in his early 40's. He was medium built with a long face and brown eyes. His hair was brown with flecks of grey going through it and although his face seemed kind there was something about the man that sent a chill up Deans spine. His two lackeys where probably in their thirties both well built but small in height, Dean guessed that neither one was 6 ft but they looked strong and capable, another shudder went up Deans spine he decided to break the silence._

" _Where's my brother ? "_

" _Your brother ? " white coat asked_

" _Yes , my brother. Where is he ? " Dean frowned at the man, what was it with adults did some part of their brain die when they reached twenty or something, Dean had vowed never to let that happen to himself. " You don't have a brother Dean " the man said_

" _What ?! " he asked confused " Of course I have a brother he's 5, asks too many questions , and is in desperate need of a haircut. Now where is he ? "_

" _Dean….son. You don't have any family , remember we discussed this at our session yesterday " white coat said patiently_

" _Screw you dude !! I was at Pastor Jims yesterday with my brother, he threw mud at me NOW WHERE IS HE ?! "_

" _Dean calm down or we'll have to sedate you again " , Dean tugged on his restraints, and glared at the three people in his room. " Where the hell am I ? I want to know where my brother is, and Pastor Jim. And my dad. Where is everyone ? " _

" _Oh dear I feel that Dean has regressed some I think we'll have to start his treatment from scratch, give him 10 ml of diazepam to calm him then bring him to my office for his first treatment " the orderlies nodded and the white coat left the room. " Don't you dare jab me with no shit Randall or I'll kick your ass", Dean tried in vain to move away from the approaching man with the filled syringe but was powerless to avoid the injection as it was plunged into his arm and the stopper depressed. He felt the medication enter his system and tried his best to fight the calmness that it provided, it felt like he was floating on a cloud, weightless with nothing to keep his feet on the ground he let himself be pulled away by the medications lull. The next sensation he had was hands un-cuffing him releasing him from the binds that had held him down, and being lifted into a wheelchair. _

_Dean closed his eyes, he felt sick but had no mind to say he did his head felt disconnected with his body, somewhere in the depths of his mind he was screaming to get his ass out of the chair, fight, find Sammy and get the hell out of where ever the heck he was, but his body wouldn't obey,_

_He was wheeled into an office that had dark wood panelling, a large mahogany desk was in the centre and pictures lined the walls. Some looked to have been drawn by children others where in frames of land or sea scapes, Deans gaze went to white coat who was sat behind his desk, he met Deans gaze and smiled. " I see you're calmer now Dean, shall we begin ? "_

" _Where's ma brother ? " he asked groggily_

" _Dean you don't have a brother, you're an orphan. This brother you keep imagining is only making it harder on yourself. I want to help you bring out who you really are ", Dean shook his head _

" _No……..no if I …if I was going to imagine a brother I wouldn't have made him such a pain in the ass, he's my little brother I gotta take care of him ". The doctor shook his head, and walked so that he was perched on the end of his desk just opposite where Dean had been placed_

" _No Dean. You are alone, no-one cares about you, there is no one to care about you. The sooner you realise that the easier this will be ", Dean gasped at the mans harsh words and leant back in his chair_

" _That's not true, I have dad, Sammy, Pastor Jim, Bobby and Caleb. What do you want from me ? Who are you ? "_

" _I'm Doctor Phelps Dean and I want what we all want "_

" _Which is ? " Dean asked eyebrow raised, was it him or was his head starting to clear, he shook it to try and shake the cobwebs away " Why for you to be all better Dean of course " the doctor smiled but it didn't reach his eyes, making the fear in Deans stomach drop again._

" _Doctor Phelps ? " he asked " I don't know you, I want to go home to my family, I want my brother please…please…there's been some mistake I don't belong here "_

" _You do know me Dean you've been here since you where 4 when your family was killed in a tragic fire, a man from child services brought you. For 2 years you refused to talk to anyone, but you liked to draw, see I have some of your pictures on my wall " he gestured to some of the children's drawings, Dean followed his hand to the pictures in question where some of the pictures held his name in his child like scrawl he'd had when he was younger. " No you're trying to trick me. Dad saved me an Sammy from the fire, he saved us I remember ". The doctor shook his head sadly, and sighed heavily_

" _What's caused this regression Dean, you where doing so well, you'd accepted that these people who you insisted where your family where merely figments of your imagination. Don't you want to get better ? ", the doctor sounded so sure that Dean felt himself falter, he was so confused his mind felt so clouded, but he was sure his family and friends where real he couldn't give up on them . He lifted his chin defiantly "Its not my imagination they're real, you're going to be sorry when my dad finds me he'll kick your ass, if you let me go it may be better for you, he won't be as mad. But you have to let me and Sammy go ". The doctor eyed Dean with sadness " I can't do that Dean, you keep having delusions about this family and demons and spirits. It was only 2 months ago that you said one of the other patients was possessed and tried what you called an exorcism. He nearly died ". Dean looked shocked at the doctors revelation_

" _I don't know what you're talking about, I've never been here before just let me go " he knew he was pleading that his dad would be disappointed but he wanted to go home and if this is what it took then that is exactly what he'd do._

_The doctor walked back around his desk and pressed a button, moments later one of the orderlies from before came back into the room " Take him back to his room and secure him. Dean we'll take this up again tomorrow, I want you to get some sleep now " the doctor looked again at the orderly " Make sure to give him his meds Derek "_

" _Yes sir I will, come on kid back to bed for you ". The man named Derek pushed Dean back to his room and seemingly without effort lifted him from the chair to the bed and re-fitted the restraints_

" _Do I have to wear those ? " Dean asked_

" _Sorry kid doctors orders, you listen to him get better and maybe you won't have to " he ran his fingers through Deans hair and smiled softly at him. " Ok time for your meds ". Derek filled two more syringes and came back to the bed " What's in those ? " Dean asked eyeing the syringes with suspicion_

" _Just your meds kid, Its what you have every day at this time " with that he plunged the medications into Dean, he wiped the area with alcohol and told Dean he'd be back later so that Dean could go to the bathroom and eat some dinner. Dean watched him go and lay back on the bed .The doctors words where racing through his mind, he was an orphan, he didn't have a brother. It just couldn't be true, he couldn't have dreamt his family up. They where real he knew it, but….where where they ? Why was he here alone ? Nothing could get onto Jims farm and take him so how had he got here if the doctor was lying to him. Was he crazy ? He was certain he wasn't and he was holding onto that for now , holding onto the hope that this family, his family would come and rescue him. He felt his eyelids start to droop and tried to fight the pull of the drugs in his system but he couldn't fight long and before he knew it he was sleeping peacefully._

_He awoke 2 hours later and found his binds un-done and the door to his room open, he climbed off the bed cautiously watching for any movement outside off the room. Dean peered around the doorjamb and found the corridor to hold a few other children in it of varying ages , he crept out but kept his back to the wall watching the others for any threat. They maybe young but that didn't mean that they weren't lethal, his dad always told him that you couldn't judge someone or something just on first appearances it could prove to be fatal. Dean felt the sweat beading on his forehead and wiped it away with his hand that's when he noticed the hospital bracelet on his wrist, he peered at it taking in the details:_

_Winchester, Matthew, Dean_

_D. O. B 01.29.79_

_Paranoid Schizophrenic_

" _What the hell does that mean ? " Dean said out loud, his frustration at the whole situation was making him angry he could feel it bubbling underneath his skin, he closed his eyes and took deep calming breaths pulling the air in through his mouth and out through this nose, he opened his eyes pulled his shoulders back and went into the larger open area which was set up with plastic tables and chairs for the patients to eat at. " Hey Dean, Dean " a boy who looked a few years older than Dean was waving at him " Come and sit with us " , Dean walked over to the group that held the boy who had spoken to him and 3 others as Dean approached the boy spoke again " Man you scared the shit out of me yesterday, what the fuck was up with that !! You went all Hong Kong phooey on Pete's ass ". Dean raised an eyebrow at the exuberance of the boys statement " You don't seem upset about it, in fact you seem happy ! " Dean queried_

" _Hell yeah !! Dude Pete's a jerk he deserves all he got. He was asking for it "_

" _He was ? "_

" _He was making fun of you, was making fun of your family "_

" _My family ? So I do have family ? "_

_The boy rolled his eyes at Deans question " Well, duh !! Of course you got a family Dean. " Dean grinned_

" _I knew that doctor was lying about my family being dead, where's Sammy have you seen him ? " he asked already looking around as if he'd see his little brother playing at one of the other tables. " Sammy ? Is that what your brother was called ? "_

" _What are you talking about ? That is my brothers name is everyone in here crazy or something ?!"_

" _Well….yeah course we are! That's why we're in an institution " the boy grinned at Deans shocked face "Dean I like playing demon hunter with ya an all but you're like me, you __**had**__ a family but they where killed, now its just us crazy chickens ". Dean backed away from the table shaking his head at the boys there " You're wrong !! My family isn't dead they're alive !! " he turned to run back to his room an instead collided with the orderly he'd nicknamed Randall from before " Back off Randall or I'll break your freaking arm !! " he snarled. Randall smirked at Dean and started to advance on him_

" _Oh try it Winchester, I can't wait till you land yourself for a little shock therapy " he reached for Dean trying to grip his arm, Dean lashed out with his feet and connected a deft kick into his knee cap bringing the man to his knees. Dean through a punch and put all his weight behind it connecting with his jaw, he fell to the floor a little dazed " Keep your freaking hands off me Randall or I'll kick your ass " he yelled. Two more orderlies appeared from no-where " Get him would ya " Randall hissed, the two men nodded trying to box Dean in but he'd been to well taught by his father no matter what they tried he evaded their grabbing hands. By this time the other patients where on their feet banging trays or their hands and cheering Dean on, he grinned cockily at the orderlies " Little slow ain't ya , damm it must suck to be old " he laughed as the two men snarled and once again tried to grab at him. Dean moved gracefully away from their hands " I could dance all night like this guys, but I'm not all that into guys ". He was just doing another pass of the tables when he felt a pinch in his neck, he reached up and pulled out a small dart, spinning on his feet he saw the smirking face of Randall with a tranquillizer gun hanging from his hands. " Nighty , night Winchester "_

" _So not fair " Dean growled at him_

" _Neither is hitting a man when he's down, but who cares ". Dean could feel the effects of the sedative already, he stumbled backwards and felt rough hands grab him, his last words as his eyelids closed where "Dad , save me ". The darkness claimed him and Dean knew no more._

_**Authors note; So that's the first chapter what do you think so far? I'll have another chappie up by tomorrow at the latest, leave me a review it'll give me a happy xx By the way I have no clue what so ever as to how institutions work I'm just using poetic licence here so forgive any discrepancies . By the way diazepam is a form of valium and used to control emotions amongst other things we use it at work and seeing as I knew about it thought I'd use it :0) .**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note; Wow people have put me on alert!! Thanks xxx So here's the next chapter, so what do you guys think ? Is Dean crazy ? Or is it the demon playing with his mind? Will John get to him in time? Does John even exist? Questions, questions all will be revealed………………………………**

**Disclaimer; Should have put this at the beginning of chapter one really but I forgot, ah well better late than never, so unless I've changed sex and my name to Eric the guys don't belong to me no matter how much I wish Dean Winchester did….yea I know me an a few other females with eyes!!**

**Into The Fire .**

Dean was floating on a warm breeze, the air around him was clean and fresh he breathed it in relishing in the security it was providing him. It smelt like fresh flowers, freshly cut grass all the good things, it smelt like Pastor Jims farm he smiled and let the breeze pull him further along. Somewhere up ahead he could hear laughter so he drifted towards it, it sounded familiar, was that……..was it…? It was, it was Sammy. Dean felt himself smile the breeze still gently pulling him forwards till he could see the farm in the distance he willed the wind to carry him quicker and felt a rush as the wind picked up speed and he found himself in the yard. He looked at the door and frowned, it was quiet, too quiet so Dean entered the house with caution.

The parlour was empty but when Dean entered the kitchen he was surprised to see his dad with his head buried in his hands, Pastor Jim had a comforting hand on his shoulder and was speaking to him but Dean couldn't hear what was being said. Bobby was sat across from John with Caleb sat next to him, Sammy was sat on Caleb's knee with his thumb in his mouth, he sat up straighter and pointed to Dean who waved at his brother, Sammy waved back and began talking excitedly to the surrounding adults but again Dean couldn't hear what was being said and it began to annoy him. He went over to his dad and tried yelling at him but no sound came out, he was scared. Scared and angry and confused. Was he dreaming ? Sam watched his every move talking the whole time to the room at large Dean could understand snippets from reading his lips, things like " Deans here " and " He's right there, can't you see him ". Dean walked towards his brother " Help me Sammy, tell dad to help me. Some freaky doctors got me at this hospital " he yelled the words but knew no sound had come from his mouth. His shoulders slumped in defeat, his brother couldn't read lips, hell he could only get snippets from people and that was only if he concentrated real hard. It was one of the training sessions he'd slacked on that his dad had given, now he wished with all his heart that he hadn't. That's when he felt the pull, it was like someone was reaching around his waist and pulling him away " No " he cried " Sammy, dad help me " he was crying now the tears flowing freely down his cheeks, he tried to stay where he was but the harder he tried to stay the harder the pull backwards was till he was wrenched from the farm house.

His eyes opened slowly, blinking against the lights overhead, his mouth felt full of cotton wool sounds where fuzzy, he thought he could hear someone talking to him but the words made no sense. He turned his head towards where he thought the sound had come from and a bleary shape came into view " dad ? " he croaked " Its ok son, I got ya you're ok " a warm hand stroked his hair and rested on his cheek, Dean leant into the touch. " I got so lost dad, I couldn't find you…or…or….or Sammy "

" Shhhhhh……..you're safe now ", Dean closed his eyes letting the warmth from the hand comfort him, when he opened his eyes his vision had cleared some and he looked up to the see the person who was comforting him. It wasn't his dad, it was doctor Phelps, Dean jerked away from the touch and glared at the doctor " Get off me " he growled

" Now Dean calm down you've just woken up from a very strong sedative that Craig gave you, I want you to relax "

" Who the hell is Craig ? " Dean asked confused, then he suddenly had a thought " Oh you mean Randall, that guys a jerk "

" Yes…well.." the doctor cleared his throat but Dean saw amusement dancing in the doctors eyes.

" He shot me !! With a gun !! " Dean fumed " That was not cool "

" You won't be seeing Craig again he was not supposed to use a sedative that strong on any of the patients here . I was afraid you wouldn't wake up Dean you gave us quite a scare "

" How long was I out ? " Dean tried to sit up but found he was once again restrained " Please let me go I won't fight I promise ". The doctor eyed Dean who was doing his best to emanate his brothers famous puppy dog eyes that seemed to get him whatever he wanted. The doctor sighed and stroked Deans hair again this time he didn't pull away but stared intently into the doctors brown eyes " Please " he whispered " I'll do whatever you want just don't tie me down I hate it when I'm tied down "

" Ok Dean, but you have to do as you're told, no arguments and no more fighting "

" I wont " Dean grinned and looked to the restraints

" You should smile more often Dean " Dean nodded and smiled more hoping that it'd please the doctor and he'd be released sooner, " I'll try sir ". The doctor nodded to the new orderly to release Dean, he did so quickly. " Erm…doc….I'm kinda hungry any chance of some grub ? " he asked sheepishly

" Of course Dean but as punishment you are secluded to your room for the rest of the week. You will only leave this room to come to your therapy sessions understand ? " Dean shuffled his feet and watched them with great interest " Yes sir ".

" Good now I'll send Gerald here in with some food for you " Dean snorted and looked to the new orderly

" Dude…Gerald?! that sucks " the doctor clearing his throat stopped Deans teasing and he once again resumed his search of his slippered feet. Both the doctor and the orderly left Dean alone in his room, his eyes snapped up once he heard the door lock, his green gaze becoming focused and determined. He'd play this game, find out where he stood, what this doctor wanted from him and use it against him. As the orderly brought Dean his food he once again resumed his role as the subservient child.

John Winchester sat at the table in Pastor Jims kitchen and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, his son had been missing for two days and he was reaching the end of his patience. Apparently Jim had thought he'd heard noises from the boys room and gone in to check on them, only to find the bed empty and no sign of the boys anywhere. He'd frantically called both Sam and Deans names before he'd heard sniffling coming from underneath the bed. When he'd investigated it was to find Sammy laying flat on his belly and crying. He'd managed to coax the child out and asked where his brother was only to be told that a monster with black eyes had taken him. Jim had asked him how he'd managed to get away when Sam had told him that " He had to go bathroom real bad, so he went to go potty and when he came back the monster with black eyes had Dean and flown out the window . He'd got scared so had hidden under the bed till daddy came to save him ". When Jim had heard the frightened child's explanation he had called John straight away. Five hours later John had stormed into the house demanding explanations, they'd searched everywhere but found nothing. There had been no signs of struggle in the boys room with no sulphur residue to tell if a demon had been involved or not, this had led to all the hunters sitting in the kitchen wondering where the hell they should turn to now. Sammy was curled on Caleb's lap sucking his thumb his ear pressed to Caleb's chest listening to the steady thumping of his heart.

A warm breeze seemed to blow into the kitchen and Sammy raised his head to see where it had come from

He looked towards his father as Pastor Jim placed a comforting arm on his shoulder " We'll find him John

I promise you we will find him ". John merely nodded, Sammy saw his big brother watching them all a

look of sadness on his face, he saw Dean wave at him and he excitedly pointed to Dean " Deans back !!

Look Deans here ". The hunters looked to where Sam was pointing only to be met by empty air

" Sam stop it !! There's nothing there " John growled

" But daddy he's right there, I can see him !! Can't you see him ?! " Sam watched as his big brother went

to their father he looked to be shouting but Sam couldn't hear what he was saying, Dean walked to Sam

Who watched his brothers every move Dean began talking to him, but Sam couldn't understand him. He

tried so hard to hear his brother that he actually thought he heard him say " Help me….hospital… " but

the words sounded distant and muffled. Sam watched as his brothers shoulders slumped then it was like

Dean was pulled away from them, from Sam and he didn't like it one bit " Dean !! Dean !! No don't go ".

He clambered off Caleb's knee and tried to follow his brother but he was moving so fast " Dean

come back " , but his brother was gone leaving Sam in tears by the door " He went away again , he was

right here daddy , he was, I sawed him " Sam looked up into the face of his father fat tears rolling down

his cheeks. John picked up his youngest son and pulled him into his chest " Its ok baby, we'll find him

again " he cooed into the little boys distraught ear. John looked to the others, if Sam was seeing his

brother and they couldn't that could only mean one thing, that his eldest boy was dead and he had come

back to them as a spirit. John gripped Sam tighter and closed his eyes, he suddenly felt very dizzy and felt

himself being guided to a chair " Jim what does it mean ? " it was his voice he was sure of it but it

sounded so unlike him, it sounded weak as if was barely keeping in control. He felt Sam move in closer to

him and held on tighter, " We'll get him back Sammy I promise " he whispered.

It wasn't long before he heard Sam's breath even out gentle puffs on his neck letting him know that Sam

had cried himself to Sleep. " Jim what the hell ?! Did Sammy see his brother ? Is he ?………could my boy

be……….? "

John swallowed unable to voice the dark thoughts that where tumbling through his tortured mind, "I

don't know John, lets not jump to conclusions ok? It could be any number of things, but we will find

Dean I promise you " Jim sat in front of John and placed his hand on Johns knee, all John could do was

nod he felt the tears prick behind his eyes he tried so desperately to hold them back but he could feel them

leaving treacherous tracks down his cheeks. " Oh God Jim, what if he's dead ? What if my boy is dead ?

What am I going to do ? ". Jims heart went out to the man in truth he was at a loss, he had no idea what

could have happened to Dean and although he hated to have to admit it he had had the very same

thoughts that John was expressing now, and that thought scared him more than anything. Jim knew that

If Dean was dead then John would soon follow, they had to find out just what was going on. But they'd

searched everywhere and everything that he could possibly think of and come up with nothing, it was as if

Dean had just vanished into thin air. The Pastor was pulled from his musings by Caleb touching his

shoulder. " You ok Jim ? "

" I'll be better when we get Dean back, we just have to search again. We must have missed something, he

can't just have disappeared and I refuse to believe that he'd dead !! "

" Yeah, I know what you mean, I'll go out again and search the perimeter ", Caleb patted Jim's shoulder

and left dragging Bobby with him. Jim raised his eyes heavenwards praying for divine intervention they

really needed some help and Jim just prayed that his prayers went answered, as he stood up and covered

the sleeping father and son with the comforter he hoped that the answers they needed wouldn't come to

late to save this family.

**Authors note; Ok I know its not a very long chapter, sorry about that. I'll try and make the next one**

**longer please review I'd like to know what everyone thinks…thanks guys xxxx**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Authors note; So another chapter, wasn't to keen on the last chapter myself felt it lacked something but whatever, hopefully this one will be better. Have just watched ' All Hell Breaks Loose parts 1 & 2' and have been blubbing like a baby !! This show, I swear I love it but it either has me laughing or crying. Is it all worth it ?……………………………...HELL YEAH !! Well on with the show….**_

_**Disclaimer; Still not mine, (wish a certain Winchester was, well two Winchesters actually but what can I say ? I'm greedy.)**_

_**Into The Fire .**_

_Deans fuzzy mind was trying to work out just how long he'd been in the care of the good Doctor Phelps, with the drugs that he was being given daily it was hard to tell what time of day it was let alone how long he'd been at the hospital. Dean felt like he'd been there all his life and if the Doctor was to be believed he had. _

_Coherent thoughts where no longer an option, when he tried to form them to think of his family. or to escape his insides burned with an agonising pain that left him gasping for breath. When he'd asked the Doctor about it he'd told him that it was his minds way of coping, that his mind was healing, and it was his sub-conscious way of weaning the imaginary family out of his thoughts._

_The worst though where the nightmares he kept having, yellow eyes danced and spoke soft words to him in his dreams, where he was taught to do things with his mind. To create fire out of thin air, to use his emotions as a weapon against others, forced to cause them pain and suffering while the eyes praised him, told him he was getting stronger and soon it would be time. Time for what he didn't know and was scared of just what it might mean. He'd wake from the dreams sweating and tired as if he'd had no rest at all , he was tired and his daily sessions with the Doctor where wearing him out. The constant stream of " Your family is dead, you are alone, you have no-one" was taking its toll and he was starting to believe what the Doctor said. After all if he did have a family wouldn't they have come for him now ? Wouldn't they have saved him ?_

" _Dean, son are you with me ? "_

" _Huh ? " Dean asked confused, how long had he been in the doctors office for ? When had he arrived ? He looked around himself startled, he felt tears prick his eyes , he was so confused lately._

" _Dean what's wrong ? " the Doctor was knelt in front of him his hands on resting lightly on Dean's shoulders. Dean felt a tear drop onto his cheek and he had to take a breath to calm himself but when he spoke his voice quivered " When did I get here ? "_

" _We've been talking for about half an hour Dean but you seemed to go onto a dream state. Where did you go ? " the Doctor took Deans wrist gently and took his pulse._

" _I don't know, I don't remember coming in here !! Oh God….I……I…..I am crazy aren't I ? " he stammered, the tears that he desperately wanted to hold back fell freely down his freckled cheeks and he felt a sob escape him " You been telling me the truth all along, my….my…..my family…they're dead aren't they ? " his body shook with emotion, he felt the Doctor wrap his arms around him giving him comfort " Its ok Dean, Its all going to be ok. You've made a very big step , you've finally acknowledged that your family are dead and now you can start to heal ". Dean nodded into the Doctors shoulder and fisted his hands into the mans white coat, his tears still falling. " What happens to me now ? "_

" _Well, now we work on putting them in a box that you can seal yourself, you'll only be able to let them out when you want. You'll be in control of them not them of you. Do you understand ? "_

" _Yea, I think so " he sniffed pulling back slightly " Erm…….sorry about your coat "_

" _That's ok Dean I don't mind, you did good kiddo I'm proud of you ". Green eyes gazed at the doctor with intensity and shone with the tears that still lingered there. The doctor placed a comforting hand on the back of Deans neck and gave a gentle squeeze " Lets call it a day for today shall we ? "_

" _Ok " Dean whispered " Do I….do I still have to have my meds ? They make me feel ill ", the Doctor looked at Dean for the longest time then smiled " Ok tonight we can skip them, but if you regress you'll have to have them ok ? I'm trusting you here Dean " the 10 year old nodded enthusiastically at the doctor a smile spreading across his face " I won't let you down sir "_

" _I know you won't Dean ". A moment later and Dean was being led back to his room, he felt lighter like a heavy burden had been lifted off his shoulders. " Hey Gerald can I have something to eat I'm starving " the orderly laughed " Sure Dean why not. You feel like eating with the others today ? "_

" _Others ?! But Doc said I was confined to quarters for the week "_

" _That was 6 months ago Dean " Gerald looked at the boy with a worried expression, Dean looked shocked " 6 months !! "_

" _You ok kid ? "_

" _Yea…its…..I don't know those meds man they mess my head up, don't know what day it is, everything blurs into one " Dean ran his hand through his hair which he realised now was a lot longer than he usually wore it. " You keep up with the progress kid an I'll bet you won't have to have those meds anymore "_

" _Really ? You think so ? " Dean gazed up at the orderly next to him, his expressive green eyes shining with hope " Yea kid I do " Gerald placed an arm around Deans shoulder and squeezed it gently sending him a warm smile. Dean smiled back and went to get himself some food from the food line, he waved to the boy who'd he remembered from the first memory he had of the place._

_Doctor Phelps watched Dean closely an evil smirk crossing his features, yellow eyes glowed dimly where brown ones had been before, " Oh Dean you are so close now, I can taste it. You look so much like your mother, so angelic " he gave a small chuckle that held no warmth " She never did loose the angelic look even after we fell from grace after the war in heaven. We'll be able to use that, no one will suspect a child as beautiful as you. A few more days and you'll be ready to kill your father and those that stand in my way " he sneered._

_Dean felt himself being watched and lifted his head to see the Doctor watching him, he raised his hand and gave a small wave a gentle smile tugging at his lips. Dean returned to his food his smile spreading across his face, so no meds tonight that was good he was already forming a plan. Today had been a good day, he'd even nearly believed himself, man was he good, turn on the water works and they seem to fall for it every time. But tonight was the last night that Dean Winchester was going to spend in the hospital, tonight he was going to escape and find his way back to his family. _

_The day crept into night as all the patients where escorted back to their rooms, Dean climbed into bed and feigned sleep. He heard the orderlies doing their rounds checking each of their charges " Hey Gerald come on we got a game going pots up to 300 "_

" _I'm coming just got to check on the kid "_

" _He's asleep man, come on already " a disgruntled voice yelled_

" _He won't be for long you keep hollering like that " Gerald hissed, Dean gave a quiet moan and rolled over in the bed. He heard Gerald enter his room and felt the man behind him " Its ok Dean , go back to sleep " he felt a hand run through his hair and gave a contented sigh " That's it kid " the stroking motion continued and Dean could feel the pull of sleep, the touch almost hypnotic " Gerald come on !! " a voice hissed from the door " I'm coming " came the exasperated reply. The stroking stopped and Dean heard the two men leave, closing the door quietly. He waited listening for any sound that could hint at the return of the orderlies but non came. It was now or never so Dean threw back the covers and climbed out of the bed. _

_He opened the drapes and looked out of the window there was mesh on the outside of the glass, " Damn it !! How the hell am I going to do this ? " his frustration growing Dean didn't see the glass pulsing until it shattered " Shit !! How the hell ? " he listened waiting for the running footsteps of the orderlies coming to investigate the noise, but non came. Dean blew out a breath and looked at the mesh, he didn't know how the glass had shattered but he was going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He rattled the mesh gently trying to gage how loose or secure it was. It held firm and Dean could feel his frustration growing once more, if he could just get out of this place he knew he could get back to his family, that's when he felt his a warmth in his hands and it was increasing. He gasped and looked to them they where pulsing with a fiery orange glow, the mesh was starting to melt so Dean increased his thoughts to will his hands to melt the mesh more the thought of getting to his family burning through his being. It hurt, it hurt like hell he felt the burning pain from the tips of his toes to the top of his head he could feel the sweat dripping into his eyes but his continued until there was a hole large enough for him to fit through. Wiping the sweat from his eyes dean climbed out of the window and onto the ledge the cool wind whipping around him cooling his skin. He looked about him trying to gage a way to get off the ledge safely. He was on the 5__th__ floor of the building to the right of him he saw a drain pipe so he headed towards that hoping he'd be able to scale down it and reach the floor in safety. Dean scaled down the drain pipe like an expert and landed at the bottom lightly on his feet. Now he just had to find out where the hell this hospital was and how far away from' Blue Earth ' he was. He headed for a line of trees sticking close to the shadows his body pressed almost animal like to the floor, he was sweating again his heart racing, once he was in the safety of the trees he rested his back against a tree and tried to steady his racing heart and mind. How the hell had that glass shattered and what the hell was wrong with his hands. He looked to them now but they looked normal, like they always did, he ran them shakily through his hair he was already starting to feel exhausted an after effect of the drugs he supposed from the drugs the hospital had pumped through his system for so long. _

_Dean rose to his feet and headed as far away from the hospital as he could , best to put as much distance away from himself and the hospital as soon as possible he thought. After what felt like hours he exited the trees to find himself on a road a garage just over the way. Dean headed for the bathroom first deciding that he should clean himself up before heading inside for food and drink, he knew that he'd get questioned he was after all a 10 year old boy out in the middle of the night wearing hospital pyjamas, and if they knew of the hospital near by then this was going to be a very short escape._

_He entered the bathroom and went to the basin to wash up, he looked in the mirror and almost didn't recognise the face looking back at him. His usually short buzz cut hair was now hanging about his face in a curtain style cut. He had big black shadows under his eyes and he was paler than usual giving him an almost sickly complexion. His face was smeared with dirt so he washed himself and dried his face and hands on the paper towels, he exited the bathroom and went into the store. _

_The lights were very bright and hurt his eyes, Dean headed for the fridges and took out some water he then went in search of food finding only candy he grabbed some peanut m & m's and headed to the counter trying to come up with a plausible excuse as to why he was there. His heart was hammering as he approached the counter to find it empty " Hello…..Is there anyone here ? Hello…..", no one answered "Erm……I got some candy and some water I ain't got no money but when I find my dad he'll come right here with it " still nothing, Dean frowned, this was strange to say the least I mean sure he didn't want to be seen if he could help it but absolutely no one in sight was more than un-nerving it was downright spooky. " Ok then well…I'm just going to go then " he left the store watching over his shoulder waiting for someone to stop him but no one came. There was a map on the wall the ones that stated with clarity and a large arrow ' you are here '._

_Deans mouth dropped open he was 5 miles from Pastor Jims farm, that couldn't be right he didn't know of any hospital near to the farm especially a mental hospital, but then again he thought I'm only 10 so how would I know that. He looked at the map making a mental note of it in his mind making sure to head in the right direction. The farm came into sight just as the sun rose over the pond, Dean approached cautiously if his time in the hospital had taught him anything it was to err on the side of caution. A million thoughts ran through Deans head, what if he was dreaming again ? What if he was still stuck in the room back at the hospital ? He took a deep breath and walked up the lane towards the house what he saw in the yard made him stop in his tracks. The impala. " Dad " Dean breathed, forgetting all his training all his thoughts of entering the house carefully he took off at a run getting to the front door in what felt like a heart beat. He reached out a shaky hand and pulled on the handle it opened easily and he entered the house that held such fond memories. _

_The parlour was empty but a fire was burning brightly in the hearth signalling that someone was up and about, so Dean walked to the kitchen slowly peering around the doorjamb he saw a tall teenager with shaggy brown hair sitting at the table talking to a man with grey hair and beard, the man was dressed like Pastor Jim but he looked a lot older than the Pastor that Dean remembered. Then dean heard the voice that he'd been wanting to hear in what felt like so long. It was his dads velvety timbre coming from the larder. Once again dean forgot everything and rushed into the room " DAD !! DAD !! " he was met by the teenager who had sprung to his feet in a defensive pose " Who the hell are you ? " the teenager yelled, Dean glared at the teenager " Outta my way sasquatch , DAD WHERE ARE YOU ?! ", the voice came out of the larder with his weapon drawn " Ok what the hell are you and why do you look like my dead son ? " John growled. " What ?! " Dean asked confused, he looked into the face that was his father, but he looked older there where flecks of grey in his hair and beard and he looked tired like he hadn't slept in a long time. " How did you get so old ? What's going on ? Where's my dad ? " Dean felt the tears start to sting his eyes and his tired body brought him to his knees " I just want to go home…I…..I…..just want my dad and my baby brother, please let me go home " he began to sob brokenly his body shaking with emotion. " Dean ? Dean is that you ? " it was his dads voice again and Dean brought his knees up to his chest and began to rock back and forth, he felt strong arms encircle him he smelt the familiar smell of his father he smelt like gun powder, and a musty warm smell that Dean had never been able to place except that it was his dad. He circled his arms around the neck of the man who smelt like his dad " Daddy….dad…..I got home I found you "_

" _It can't be you Dean, you've been gone 10 years " Deans head raised in shock, _

" _Ten years……..but …….but…" Dean didn't finish his sentence it was all too much his mind shut down and all he saw was darkness his fathers frightened voice yelling his name ringing in his ears and then there was silence._

_**Authors note; ok so another one comes to a close I'll update soon as some nice person or persons HINT, HINT leave me a review. The more reviews I get the sooner I'll update…deal ? I think its fair I mean no going to hell or owt so what ya got to loose ?! Go for it you might even enjoy it xxx **_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Authors note; ok so I got one review…woo hoo!! But I did promise to update if I got one so here you go. The person suggested that I disable anonymous review thing whatever that is, so I have done. I now know how to reply to reviews……..yay me !! … So please review it gives me the incentive to write quicker…**_

_**Disclaimer; As much as I'd like to own the boys I don't, I do however own a cool car and bought some peanut m & m's today so there ya go bet ya'll feel better for knowing that now don't ya !!**_

_**Into The Fire .**_

_John looked at the face of the 10 year old child who was lying on the couch unconscious, he looked exactly like Dean did when he was 10, but his Dean would have been twenty now and this child who was claiming that he was Dean Winchester……..well it just wasn't possible, was it ? _

" _Maybe we should move him somewhere more comfortable " the Pastor suggested, he'd been watching John who had yet to take his eyes off the sleeping child's face. _

" _Yea ok I'll put him in the boys room, Sammy afraid you're bunking with me son till we figure out who or what this is " John said without removing his eyes from Deans still form " Jim can you call Caleb and Missouri I have a feeling she maybe able to help, and I know Caleb will want to be here "_

" _OK I'll do it now they should be with us in a few days ". John nodded and scooped Dean up effortlessly into his arms " Sammy can you get the doors for me son ? "_

" _Sure dad " Sam followed his father up the stairs then opened the door into the room that he had shared so many times with his big brother._

" _Do you think it is Dean dad ? "_

" _I don't know son, he sure as hell looks like your brother did when he was 10 but he should be older now, he should be 20 !! I just don't understand it " John sighed tiredly_

" _Me either " Sam replied running his hands through Deans hair " His hairs longer than he used to wear it. I remember he used to wear it real short, it used to stick up " he said smiling to himself. The child reacted to his touch sighing contentedly and leaning into it._

" _Come on Sam, we need to lock the door, we don't know as yet who or what he is and we can't take chances "_

" _It's Dean dad "_

" _How do you know ? "_

" _I……….I just know it is. I can feel him " Sam replied somewhat embarrassed. He could feel it in his gut and numerous times he'd listened to that feeling and it had saved not only his and Johns life but Caleb's, Bobby's, and Jims too. He wasn't about to not listen now especially when the feeling was so strong._

" _We have to be sure Sam, I want to believe its Dean too but my priority is to keep you safe, I'll make it up to Dean if it is him I promise " Sam nodded, there was little else he could do. They left Dean sleeping happily and left the room, John locked it from the outside and they went downstairs to join Jim in the kitchen._

_As the day dragged on the hunters discussed the possibility that the boy upstairs sleeping could be Dean, the hope that he was, was something that Jim didn't miss in either Winchester. Jim knew how much it would kill them both if Dean wasn't Dean. What was scaring the pastor the most was just what they'd do with the child if it turned out he wasn't who he was claiming to be. The whole thing was making his head spin, the what ifs and whys where's, where driving him crazy. They'd decided that the best course of action would be to sedate Dean as they had all decided to call him would be the best course of action ,so he was being giving regular injections to keep him in a permanent state of unconscious . _

_Of course things never ran that smoothly and as Jim was once again injecting Dean the boy was stirring and begging not to be put out again saying he'd be good ,it was breaking his heart, it was with great reluctance and tears in his eyes that he once again pushed the sedative into Deans vein. Dean looked at him with accusing eyes until they fluttered closed his long dark eyelashes standing out against his pale skin. The pastor ran his fingers through Deans long hair, he wanted so much to believe that this child was Dean, he'd missed him so much. Jim sighed and left the room locking it again behind him._

_They'd searched everywhere they could think of for Dean 10 years ago and found nothing, the search had been fruitless. The loss of Dean had had a massive impact on all of them, John hadn't let Sam out of his sight and it had taken a lot of arguments for John to even consider letting Sam go to school. He'd even cut down on the hunting for fear of loosing his other boy to some supernatural entity._

_The guilt that Jim had felt was crushing, the what ifs constantly running through his mind, What if I'd got there in time ? What if they'd taken Sammy as well ? What if ? What if ? , John hadn't blamed him in the slightest but the Pastor still felt the guilt clinging to him at times it was suffocating. And the fact that now they could have Dean back just to maybe have it snatched away again was too much, too cruel. Jim had clung to his faith certain that they'd get Dean back, he just wasn't expecting it to have been 10 years later or that the returning son would still only be child._

_Missouri and Caleb arrived 4 days later, Caleb burst into the kitchen " Well where is he ? " he said excitedly looking around the kitchen as if expecting Dean to jump out at him, he frowned when he didn't see him, " Where's Dean Johnny ? "_

" _He's……err……..he's upstairs sleeping " he said awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck_

" _Sleeping ?! Its dinner time !! "_

" _Well……..we……we…" John looked to Sam and Pastor Jim for help, the Pastor was the one who obliged " We felt it best if we sedated Dean until we prove his identity "_

" _Prove his identity ? Are you serious ? Of course its Dean !! "_

" _Damn it Caleb you don't understand !! " John stormed slamming his fists onto the kitchen table_

" _Then explain it to me Johnny, pretend like I'm dumb "_

" _Pretend ? That shouldn't be too hard " Sam snorted which earned him a glare from the older hunter_

" _Funny, shrimp you're a real comedian you know that "_

" _He's…..he's…well its just " John sighed " He's still only 10 Caleb. He should be an adult now not a 10 year old boy "_

" _What difference does that make ? If you recall he's been stuck at an age before they both where " he said gesturing to Sam._

" _What's he talking about dad ? "_

" _Nothing Sammy. Its not important " John stated giving Caleb a glare_

" _What if it is important Johnny ? , what if Sam has some answers of his own ? "_

" _Dad I want to help, please "_

" _No….we'll just let Missouri see if she can do her stuff and if its not Dean……." he trailed off not wanting to really finish the sentence._

" _What Johnny ? We'll put a bullet in him !! "_

" _That's enough both of you. This isn't helping anybody. John take Missouri upstairs and see what she can determine, we'll deal with what to do with the child if he isn't Dean if it comes to that " . Both men looked to the Pastor, John nodded and headed to the stairs followed by Missouri, Caleb watched his friend go and sat himself in a chair. Jim placed a hand on his shoulder _

" _I want it to be him to "_

" _Ok, now dad's out of the way you can explain just what you meant by we'd been stuck at age before !! And I don't want any crap, I, no make that we have a right to know "._

_Caleb sighed and looked to Jim who nodded, so Caleb took a deep breath and told the young hunter everything he knew._

_It was so hot !! That's the first thought that came into Dean's sleep addled mind. It was the kind of hot that you'd expect from a summers day. Dean opened his eyes lazily and looked around him, what he saw had his eyes widening in shock. He was surrounded by fire !!_

_His first instinct to was to shout for his dad or Pastor Jim, but then somewhere deep in his mind he remembered both his father and the Pastor drugging him and quickly closed his mouth, so his next thought was to escape but he could see none. That's when he noticed something…well……..strange. Although he was surrounded by fire he wasn't exactly burning, If anything the flames that where licking up his arms and body where……well nice. Comforting even._

_Dean watched in awe as the flames danced around him, snaking their way around him like a serpent, he felt no pain, in fact he felt powerful like the fire was a part of him._

" _Bend it to your will " a voice coaxed_

" _What ? How ? Who's there ? " Dean asked, a fear had started to bubble in the pit of h is stomach,_

" _Concentrate, the fire will do as you tell it. Control it ! "_

" _I don't know how !! I'm…………I don't think I should be doing this ! "_

" _Of course you should. This is your destiny ! "_

_Yellow eyes gleamed from the fires orange glow,_

" _Who are you ? " Dean asked his fear had reached its peak_

" _I'm your future " the voice laughed._

_Dean awoke with a start, blinking back his confusion. He was sure that he'd escaped from the hospital but his mind was so muddled that he wasn't sure of much at the moment. It all came back to him as the fog cleared from his mind, he remembered now reaching the farm and his families reaction to his appearance it hadn't exactly been the home coming he had dreamed of. Instead he'd been treated like prisoner drugged constantly by either his father or the Pastor._

_What had struck Dean the most was the way his father had looked at him, it was the look he gave the things he hunted, he'd looked at Dean like he was a demon or something., told him he'd been gone 10 years !! But how was that possible ?!_

_The room that had been spinning like a top slowed down to a stop, so he took the chance to take in his surroundings. He was in bedroom that he used to share with his brother at Pastor Jims._

_Maybe it had all been some weird dream and when he went downstairs his baby brother would be there instead of the shaggy haired youth. His father would look at him with pride instead of disbelief and fear. Dean climbed out of bed and went to the door, he listened hard to see if any sounds could be heard from the other side but he was met with silence. He tried opening it but it wouldn't open, frowning Dean decided to shout to his father " Dad !! Hey dad are you there ? I can't open the door its stuck or something "._

_He heard footsteps approaching his room, two lots he determined. One set was definitely his dads but he couldn't tell who the others belonged to. " Dad is that you ? "_

" _Stand away from the door Dean "_

" _Okay "._

_John entered the room and looked at the child in front of him. He certainly looked like Dean, even sounded like him, he wanted so badly to believe that it was him but he had to be sure._

" _Well Missouri ? What is it ? "_

" _I'm your son !! Dad its me !! " Dean looked at his dad with wide eyes he couldn't believe that this man. His father doubted him, he could feel the tears sting his eyes but refused to let them fall. Instead he turned his attention to Missouri who had taken a tentative step towards him. Dean took a step back the fear he'd felt in his dream was suddenly bubbling again in his gut. He was supposed to be safe here but Dean now felt anything but. " Its ok child, I'm here to help don't be scared "_

" _I ain't scared of you lady !! " he spat, but as the psychic continued towards him he continued his backwards trek until he found himself backed up against the wall. " Crap " he thought his dad was going to kill him " Winchester rule number one, never let yourself get cornered ". His lax in concentration allowed Missouri to close the gap and she soon had both hands clasped to his face before Dean knew what was happening. " Hush now child, relax I'm going to help you "_

" _No !! I don't want this " Dean yelled, Missouri gasped as she felt a surge of heat throw her backwards off Dean._

" _WHAT DID YOU DO ?? " John yelled_

" _Nothing……….I……..I didn't do anything I swear it "_

" _Its ok John " Missouri said as she raised herself from the floor " I don't think he even knows he did anything ". John looked to Missouri making sure she was indeed ok then over to the child that claimed to be his son, he looked terrified._

_His green eyes darting around the room looking for a way to escape, John saw his small body tense making ready to escape. John reached out his hand to stop him, Dean reacted instantly lunging at his dad knocking the hand out of the way and darting past the startled psychic._

_Dean had had enough, this family. ' His family ' had treated him like a prisoner he had been better off at the hospital. Dean decided to try and make it back to Doctor Phelps, hopefully the Doctor wouldn't be too angry with him he'd been right all along he was truly alone._

_He headed down the stairs two at time landing cat like at the bottom. " Stop him Jim, he got past us " John yelled._

_Dean was met with the Pastor, Caleb, and the teenager from the night before, he was going to have to fight his way out of this nightmare. He took a defensive pose, balancing on the balls of his feet fists raised to chin level he glared at the 3 people in front of him._

" _Whoa kid, its ok " Caleb said_

" _Yeah sure it is " Dean replied sarcastically " I've just been locked in a room and drugged fro God knows how long !! Everything's peachy "_

" _Well when you put it like that……."_

" _Dean relax its ok no one is going to hurt you " the teenager said raising his hands in a placating manner._

" _Who the hell are you ? Where's my brother ? " Dean yelled_

" _I am your brother Dean "_

" _No you're not. You're too old my brothers only 6 !! You're a freaking teenager , and don't even think about it grandpa " he span around knocking the syringe from the Pastors hand. Caleb took the opportunity and plunged the syringe he had into Deans arm who gave a startled yelp._

_Dean lashed out feet and fists flying knocking the hunters to the floor, and taking off for the front door and freedom. His adrenaline seemed to be fighting off the sedative that Caleb had given him_

" _Dean wait ! " Sam shouted, but Dean was already half way down the yard when he heard a gun shot and felt another prick I the back of his neck " NO !! " he yelled, but his tired body was beginning to betray him. His limbs felt heavy and his eyes where loosing focus. Dean tried to push on but he was soon brought to his knees the ground rushing up to him, he felt strong arms stop his decent " Its ok Dean I got ya, your safe. I'm sorry son "_

" _Dad " the word was slurred " am I evil ? Is that why you don't love me anymore ? "._

_Tears stung Johns eyes " No son you're not evil. Sleep ok we'll talk when you wake up "_

" '_Kay " Deans eyes slipped closed and John pulled him close to his chest, his heart was racing he'd almost lost him again. Bringing dean into the house he sat on the couch cradling Dean protectively._

" _Well Missouri ? Is he my son ? "_

" _He is John, I don't now why he hasn't aged but that boy is definitely Dean Winchester "._

_The surrounding hunters gaped at the sleeping child, a smile formed on Sam's lips " This is awesome !! " he said grinning_

" _Course it is kid, we got your brother back " Caleb said slapping his back_

" _No not that " Sam said. The other hunters looked at him confused, Sam pointed to himself " Now I'm the older brother !! " he laughed. John smiled at his now oldest son_

" _He's going to hate this " he said smoothing his fingers through Deans hair._

_Dean slept peacefully for 2 hours then woke up slowly still held in his fathers strong arms. " Hey sport " John said softly_

" _Dad ?………….what happened ? "_

" _We……….well…….we had to drug you to stop you from leaving. I couldn't loosed you again "._

" _Its ok dad I understand "_

" _Dean where've you been all this time ? ". Dean looked towards the floor not wanting to meet his fathers eyes, John lifted his chin tenderly with two fingers and looked into the jade green pools._

" _At a hospital " he swallowed past the lump that had formed in his throat " It was an institution. There was this Doctor there he said that you where dead that you'd died in the fire with mom when I was four, that I didn't have a brother, that I was alone. He said I was a paranoid schitzo….something or other , and that all my life had been a hallucination. The hunts, Pastor Jim, Bobby and Caleb where all in my head " Dean took a breath " Wait……..you've been at a mental hospital all this time ? " Dean frowned_

" _Yes !! I just told you "_

" _Watch the tone Dean "John admonished_

" _Sorry sir "_

" _You're home now that's all that matters " John said softly, Dean leaned into his fathers chest a quiet sigh escaped his lips " Dad ? Is that really Sammy ? " he asked nodding his head towards the shaggy haired youth. _

" _Yeah son it is " John smiled, Dean climbed out of his fathers arms and walked towards Sam. He tentatively reached a hand out and touched his cheek looking deep into Sam's blue green eyes. Sam gave a full smile dimples flashing, his eyes filling with happy tears._

" _Sammy ? " he whispered_

" _Yeah…..its me Dean " Sam choked back the tears that fell down his cheeks, Dean looked at his brother brushing the too long bangs out of his eyes " Dude………..you so need a haircut " he laughed, Sam pulled his brother into a bone crushing hug " Look who's talking " he said as he ran through his hand through his brothers hair. Dean held tightly to him " I never thought I'd see you again. I……….I really thought I was crazy "._

_Sam held tighter until Dean was pried away from him to be hugged by the Pastor and Caleb, Dean was laughing embarrassed by the attention he was getting. Missouri reached him and he lifted his eyes to her brown ones " I didn't mean to hurt you I'm sorry "_

" _Its ok child " she pulled dean into a gentle hug. She could feel the power pulsing through Dean but managed to keep her face holding that gentle smile. She needed to talk to John, but not tonight, tonight was a cause for celebration._

_**Authors note; Please review it lets me know If I'm actually doing something right. Again no new chapter till I get some reviews. Sorry guys know its blackmail but what can I say I am a sith……….lol**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Authors note; Hey I got reviews how exciting !! What a good do !! Keep um coming my little readers, and gifts shall be bestowed upon you….well not literally but you get the idea.**_

_**Disclaimer; If I owned Dean and his daddy they would be chained up somewhere nice an comfy, giving me a happy….but alas all I own is the shirt on my back……sigh…………**_

_**Into The Fire. **_

_They celebrated well into the night, it was only when Dean fell asleep on the couch next to his brother that John realised how late it was. He carried Dean to the room he was once again going to share with his brother, he undressed him slipping him under the covers and watched him sleep for a while before he went downstairs to join the other hunters._

" _John we need to talk about Dean " Missouri said_

" _What about him ? I thought you said he was Dean that he is my son " John ran a hand tiredly across his face, but still managed to send the psychic a glare,_

" _About his abilities " she said patiently, she was waiting for the explosion that she felt certain was to come, John didn't disappoint " What the hell are you talking about ? " he yelled._

" _John, that boy of yours, both your boys are mighty powerful, but Dean……..his abilities come from his emotions he needs to be taught. Something has tried but I think being a Winchester he's resisted, the stubbornness he gets from his daddy no doubt. I expect that's why they kept him as a child in the hopes that he'd be easier to manage "_

" _What do you mean by something ? " John asked suspicion heavy in his voice , Missouri let out a sigh,_

" _I think it may have been a demon, I could sense the evil that has tried to worm its way into him. John I think it could have been the demon that took your sweet Mary "_

" _But how ? What has it done to him ? And why ? " Johns voice quivered with the fear that was clenching his gut, _

" _Well the why is easy John, like I said he's very powerful and his ability could be swayed to………for want of a better word the dark side " Caleb snorted_

" _You make him sound like some kind of Jedi " Missouri shot the man a look and he silenced immediately._

" _Like I said he needs training John You can't make this go away by ignoring it, he's been brought to far you saw what happened in the bedroom he didn't mean to do it but without training he's a danger to others and himself. It could end up killing him ! "_

" _Ok so that answers the why, not what or the how ? And just exactly what has it done ? Is he…….is he a demon ? " John gulped, the thought was to horrific to consider._

" _Some may have been through dreams, sort of like training him in his sub conscious . I don't really sense any demon in him, there is something there something latent but I don't get the sense of bad. If anything it was almost angelic " she shook her head " But something has tried to push that out of him, maybe like a poison……..almost like….we need to find out what they gave him "_

" _And just how do we do that ? Shall I ask the demon ? I'm sure he'd tell me !! " John spat out his voice laced with sarcasm. _

" _Boy, don't you sass me now !! I didn't say this would be easy, but there are ways to find out just what that demon gave your boy " she glared at John making him squirm under her gaze._

" _Can't we bind these abilities or something ? I don't know how to train him in something like this ! ! Do you ? " John wanted his son safe and these abilities where scaring him,_

" _No that wouldn't be a good idea there's no saying the bind would hold or even take, and if he isn't trained……" she trailed off but the look in her eyes told John what he needed to know, that to leave Dean un trained was a bad idea and he wasn't about to risk loosing his son again,_

" _Ok " he nodded running a hand through his dark hair, his dark eyes lingered on the psychic " Can you train him ? "_

" _I think so " she nodded " Both of them " she said pointedly looking at Sam, John ignored the look and comment for now._

" _How do I stop this demon from taking him again ? How do I keep him safe ? "_

" _I have an idea about that " Sam had spoken up for the first time making John jump, he span round to look at his son who was still sat on the couch " I got this from Bobby, he told me it's a powerful amulet used for protection, I got it for you dad but I think Dean needs it more ". Sam held up the small bronzed head which was attached to a piece of black cord " I'll give it to him in the morning " he said._

" _Ok, go to bed son get some rest " Sam nodded and left the hunters in the parlour bidding them goodnight he climbed the stairs to bed._

_His mind was racing what did Missouri mean by abilities ? And better yet what had she meant by they both had these abilities. Was he to receive training also ? Would he go ' dark side ' if he didn't ?_

_Sam climbed into bed next to his brother, he watched him sleeping thinking that there was no way he'd be sleeping tonight his mind was too full. But Deans even breathing soon had Sam's eyelids feeling heavy till he fell into a peaceful sleep. Content for the first time in 10 years because his big brother was right where he was supposed to be, at Sam's side ._

_Sam woke early the next morning and looked towards where his brother had been last night, he wasn't there. Panicking Sam arose quickly and ran down stairs to find his brother happily tucking into some pancakes that the Pastor was making, he took a calming breath and walked towards the kitchen table._

" _Morning " he said, Dean looked at him with an amused grin as he shovelled another fork full into his mouth " Mormin " he said through the mouth full. Sam shook his head in disgust he'd forgotten his brothers disgusting eating habits, then smiled realising just how much he'd missed them._

" _You sleep well ? " Sam asked pouring himself a glass of juice_

" _Yeah, really well did you ? " Sam nodded smiling_

" _Best I've slept in 10 years " he said happily, Dean suddenly looked saddened and Sam reached a hand over to him " Hey what's wrong ? "_

" _I'm sorry " he whispered, his pancakes suddenly forgotten " That I didn't get back to you sooner "_

" _Hey that wasn't your fault so don't worry about that ok ? "_

" _Ok " Dean nodded,_

" _Now eat your pancakes little brother " he snickered. Dean scowled at him pointing his fork at Sam_

" _I'm still the big brother Sammy " he said_

" _What ? How do you work that one out ? I'm older than you now not to mention taller !! " Sam said _

" _That maybe Sammy, but I was still born before you and you where always going to be taller. Besides you got the big brother hand book yet ? " he asked eyebrow raised questioningly_

" _No " Sam said shaking his head, his brow furrowed in concentration._

" _Well there you go then , I got mine so that still makes me the older brother " Dean smiled his green eyes shining with mischief_

" _Deaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan " Sam whined, which made Dean laugh loudly. The Pastor smiled at the two boys sat at his table, true it was a strange turn around Sam now being the older brother but the Pastor believed that Dean would still give him a run for his money._

" _I got something for you Dean, I got it from Bobby years ago and I was keeping it for you….for…..well….for when you came home " he finished the sentence quietly a light flush coming to his cheeks, " You did ? " Dean asked surprised, Sam nodded his bangs falling in his eyes he pulled out a small package wrapped in newspaper and handed it to Dean._

" _Thanks Sammy " Dean said excitedly tearing the paper to reveal the pendant, Dean glanced at it then placed it over his head " I'll never take it off Sammy, I love it " _

" _Glad you like it " Sam grinned at his brothers happy face, his smile suddenly broadened Sam turned in his seat to see his father enter the kitchen._

" _Hey dad " Dean called_

" _Hey son, how you feeling today ? "_

" _Good thanks, so what we doing ? Are we going on a hunt ? " Dean asked his voiced laced with excitement, John smiled revealing his own dimples that Sam had inherited from him. It was a very rare thing to see and it seemed to make Dean glow with happiness that he'd been able to make his dad smile._

" _No son not just yet. We're staying here a while longer Missouri has some things she needs to teach you "_

" _Missouri ? " he asked suddenly confused " You mean that lady that's always threatening people with a spoon " a barked laugh sprang from Johns throat_

" _Yeah that's the one. I want you to listen to her carefully and do your very best ok ? " Dean nodded_

" _Will I be taking lessons as well ? " Sam asked " You know seeing as I have abilities an all " John stiffened " Sam…." he began_

" _No dad, I know the truth Caleb told me everything last night, how we really are your sons, how we we're stolen from you before, how we'd been kept at an age before, when we're you going to tell us ? " he stormed he was suddenly so angry. Angry that he'd been kept in the dark all this time, that his father hadn't trusted him with the truth. John glared at his son this was not the time for one of Sam's outbursts. He was going to be having words with Caleb later,_

" _You didn't need to know Sam , I was keeping you safe. Both of you. The first time I thought you were both dead, it too two years before I found you and then it was Caleb who let me know that you where both my sons !! Do you think this has been easy ? " he yelled, he was gripping Sam's shirt front both were scowling at each other faces contorted in rage._

" _STOP, STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING !! " Dean yelled trying his hardest to get between his brother and father. Both suddenly came out of their anger at the distraught look on Dean's face, John dropped to his sons eye level " I'm sorry Dean, me and your brother…….we don't always see eye to eye on things an I guess we let our foolish pride get in the way "_

" _I'm sorry too " Sam said as he too knelt before his wide eyed brother. Dean took a shaky breath in and nodded " Just don't do that again " he said " When do I start these lessons dad ? " he asked_

" _You and your brother start these lessons after you've eaten " John emphasised the word and then pulled Dean into his chest he could feel his boys heart beating quickly in his chest he smoothed his fingers through Deans soft golden brown hair " So kid, you like your hair or you want it cut ? " he said smiling_

" _It needs cutting " he said running his own hand through it " Its too long, and we already got a girl in the family " he smirked at his brother " Int that right Samantha ? "_

" _Funny Dean " Sam said though he could feel his lips betraying him and smiling at his brother. John nodded " Sammy will you go and get the clippers for me ? "_

" _Sure " he said leaving to go and get them, he came back pretty quickly clippers in hand_

" _What ya want Dean the usual ? " John asked grinning_

" _Yep same as always " Dean grinned, he sat on a chair and happily relaxed as his dad cut his hair finally allowing himself to believe he was home._

_Dean was irritated, and Dean irritated was not a good thing. Missouri had been pushing both the boys for the last 3 hours to see how far they could go with their abilities. She'd explained to Sam that he had to imagine himself before a door and all he had to do was open that door and it would allow all his potential to be released. " But Sam " she warned " This isn't a game once you do this there is no going back, once you go through that door you can't go back through. it's a one way street, you understand don't you ? "_

" _I'm ready Missouri ". He'd done as she instructed could feel the powerful energy on the other side, he opened the door and was bathed in a powerful white light, but far from being scared it had made him feel more connected to his brother more relaxed and in control than he ever had. _

_Sam was progressing happily at an alarming speed , to Missouri it was as if he'd been born into it, but Dean was resisting and the more she pushed him the more irritated he had become until he had stormed into the corner of the barn they were using and sat on an upturned bucket his back to his brother and the other psychic. His face set in a scowl, he glared down at his sneakers, he felt so useless his brother who'd only just started was already bypassing him. " I'm so stupid " he muttered to himself _

" _No wonder they let me go so easily at the hospital probably figured I was a waste of space " he kicked at a stone on the ground letting out a weary sigh he could feel Missouri watching him could feel her eyes on his back and all he really wanted right now was to be left alone. He felt like she was climbing inside his mind and Dean didn't like that one bit " STAY OUT OF MY HEAD !! " he yelled, but the words never left his mouth although they still echoed around his mind. He heard Missouri gasp and he looked around worriedly to see Sam holding her arm " Are you ok ? " Sam asked her concern in his voice " Dean she's only trying to help, what did you do ? ". is brother was angry with him but Dean wasn't entirely sure what he had done. His frustration was growing, his irritation escalating at his lack of control over everything, over his feelings of uselessness. _

_He started to feel warm, very warm, it had started from the top of his head, like someone was pouring warm water over him slowly " I didn't do anything !! " he shouted " I CAN'T DO ANYTHING !! " he saw Sam's eyes widen in…was that fear? Was that fear he was seeing ? But something had started and Dean didn't know how to stop it. He looked to his hands they where surrounded by a blue flame that was spreading its way up his arms " HELP ME SAMMY !! " Dean shouted the fear in his voice brought Sam out from his shock and he nodded and did the only thing he could think of he ran for his dad shouting for him " DAD !! WE NEED YOU NOW !! " John ran from the farm house and joined his son who had back peddled and was now racing back to the barn. " Its Dean, dad he's on fire !! " _

" _What ?? " John saw for himself as they reached the barn Missouri was trying to talk to Dean but he was whimpering and taking steps away from the psychic " stop, please stop I don't know how " he was pleading " DEAN !! " John raced to his sons side " Dean look at me he reached for his boy who pulled away " No dad I'll hurt you " tears where falling from his eyes making the green sparkle more, they almost glowed, John ignored his son and clasped a hand on his arm pulling him to him in a hug, he wrapped his arms around the trembling child " Sh Dean I got ya your ok. Its all going to be ok " It didn't even register in Johns mind that his burning son wasn't hurting him, all that mattered then was that his boy needed him and in Johns mind that's all that mattered ._

" _What happened ? " he whispered angrily to Missouri, she was looking at them with awe shaking her head " I don't know John " she said honestly " I thought if I pushed him it'd bring out his abilities naturally, but it seemed to do the opposite Sam excelled but Dean……..he gave up "_

" _I….can't do it…..I'm not…..I'm not Sammy, I'm not as intelligent as Sammy dad I can't do this " he sobbed._

" _Yes you can Dean, you're every bit as intelligent as your brother. Who taught Sammy how to read ? How to do his numbers ? " Dean looked to his father searching his eyes for the hidden lie he thought he would find there but he found none. " I'm so proud of you Dean, you can do this I know you can " the flames had died now leaving Dean in a warm golden glow but neither Winchester seemed to notice, Dean clung to his father tightly " You do it dad "_

" _Do what son ? " John asked gently_

" _Teach me dad , please I know you can do it " Dean gave his a dad that could rival Sammy's puppy eyes as it was rarely seen and John found himself nodding his agreement " Okay son I'll try "_

" ' _Kay " Dean pulled himself from his fathers arms " Sorry Missouri, guess you get geek boy " he sent a small smile her way but refused to meet Sam's gaze he knew he'd scared his brother and that worried Dean more than anything._

_Sam came and knelt in front of his brother " Dean ? Dean please look at me " Dean continued to look at the floor " Please Dean " there it was, the tone that Dean couldn't refuse he lifted his eyes to his brothers so scared of what he'd see in them. Sam held his gaze, Dean had changed so much since he'd come back it was like he couldn't hide his feelings any more from any of them. Sam had always been able to read Deans eyes even when he was small it was the part of him that he'd never been able to fully shield not from his brother. But now his face was like an open book, he looked so young and vulnerable, so scared that Sam felt a huge wave of protection wash over him and it suddenly hit him just what it meant to be the ' older brother '. He smiled gently at him " Hey its ok, we both need to learn control is all. At least you didn't send Missouri head first into a pile of manure " Deans lip quirked into a grin_

" _Yeah that's true " he said " Sorry I scared you Sammy "_

" _We'll get through this together Dean. Those demons won't stand a chance. Right dad ? "_

" _Damn straight " John replied, at the moment he couldn't care less if his boys could take down the demons, they had to go through him and if any demon tried to mess with his family then John Winchester would rip them limb from limb._

" _Ok boys I think that's enough for today what do you say to pizza and some sodas ? " Dean grinned_

" _Where've you been all my life ? " Dean laughed, for the moment all was right again and Dean was happy with that_

_**Authors note; Ok so I know wee Dean is a little out of character at the moment but he's been through a lot. I promise he'll be getting to the Dean we know and love soon enough. So you know the drill you want another chapter review…lol……**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Into The Fire . **_

_The weeks that followed where hard to say the least, the barn had nearly been burnt down on a daily basis but as the weeks dragged on Dean was finally getting a grasp on his ability to create fire. His emotions where another matter entirely, try as he might he just couldn't stop his outbursts and he hated them. He was used to being so in control, being able to hide how he was truly feeling from those around him that now it felt like he was suffocating under all that he was feeling and what the others where feeling. _

_Missouri had told him that he was an empath and his emotions could make him stronger if only he'd allow himself to accept it for the gift that it was. He could not only use his gift to sense how others where feeling but also with training be able to project to his feelings to others around him._

_Dean didn't see the empathy as a gift, he found himself feeling lost and started to shut himself away from the others on a regular basis, to just shut out the worry that was coming off them in waves. His fathers was the worst he was always worrying if Dean would be gone again, if Dean was normal, what the demon had done to him. John had been pestering Missouri mercilessly to find out the answers to his questions which had led Dean to distancing himself even more from the people that he loved, he wanted to help his father he really did. But he was scared to death at what Missouri would find if he let her into his mind. So he'd taken to spending long hours at the pond sitting in the boat and letting it drift lazily across the water just letting the breeze take him. It gave him a sense of peace allowed him to shut everything and everyone out, he sometimes felt like he no longer belonged with his family and he ached to be able to go back in time so that he wasn't the baby of the family now. This was something that he just couldn't get used to, his once baby brother bossing him around was getting to be rather annoying and he just wasn't one to be bossed around by anyone, well maybe his dad but that was different he was following orders then, if he didn't it could end in someone losing their life, and Dean just wouldn't let that happen. He was a protector it was something that he felt he'd been born to do, to protect the innocent, the weak, and now he felt like that was being ripped from him. He hated it. _

_He glanced over the rim of the boat he could sense Missouri on the shore trying to reach out to him to send calming thoughts to put him at ease, he knew why she was there, she'd come for the answers that his father so desperately wanted. He knew he couldn't avoid this any longer he had to give in , the only way this could be avoided was if he ran away and he couldn't do that. He couldn't put his family through all that worry again and in truth he had no idea where he'd have gone anyway. Sure he'd had another birthday from them staying at the farm for so long but he was still only 11, and just where would an 11 year old go to ? _

_So with a heavy heart Dean turned the boat around and began to row for shore. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, maybe sharing his nightmare time in the hospital would be better shared, maybe he wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night anymore to glowing yellow eyes that danced with laughter at his thundering heart._

" _I know what you want Missouri " he said to the psychic making her jump_

"_I thought you where still out on the pond " she said eyebrows raised in surprise, Dean moved closer to her and motioned to the tree. _

" _If we sit under here it'll keep us sheltered. Erm…….. How long will this take ? " he asked nervously_

" _Not too long child, it won't hurt I promise ". They sat under the tree Indian style facing each other, Missouri reached out her hands and placed them either side of Deans face_

" _Ok baby take deep breaths and close your eyes, concentrate on the hospital and your time there. Remember you're safe, I'll be there with you the whole time " Dean nodded and did as Missouri instructed him, he felt no different though sure he was kinda relaxed and felt a little floaty but other than that he still felt like he was sat under the tree on a surprisingly warm February day._

_He cracked an eye open to look at Missouri and gasped in shock, he was standing in the corridor of the hospital. _

" _Missouri ? MISSOURI ?! W here are you ? "_

" _I'm right here Dean its ok, you're ok " Dean felt a warm hand on his shoulder and looked up into the warm brown eyes of Missouri, he felt himself visibly relax. _

" _So what now ? "_

" _Why don't you show me where your room was honey, that could be a good place to start " Dean frowned and headed down the corridor _

" _Its this way I think " he led the psychic down the corridor to a room where the door was closed, he could feel his heart hammering in his chest as he reached for the door handle with a sweaty palm. The door opened easily and swung inwards revealing a pale faced Dean strapped down to the bed. Dean ran forwards to undo the straps but his hands passed through them as if he was trying to catch the early morning mist_

" _You can't change what happens here honey, we're not really here, what we're seeing is like an echo we're just here to get the answers that we need. Do you understand ? " Dean nodded and looked at his pale self_

" _Sorry dude, wish I could help " he walked back to the psychic his shoulders slumped in defeat_

" _Its ok though we can help you now, what we see can help us to understand and try and heal you "_

" _Ok " Dean opened his mouth to ask what if they didn't see anything helpful when his door was opened and Doctor Phelps walked in, he looked to the child on the bed whose wide unseeing eyes where fixed on the ceiling. The Doctor smiled but it held no warmth, he ran a hand through Deans hair_

" _Time for your medication Dean " he talked even though the Dean lay on the bed couldn't hear him _

" _You're doing very well, progressing even faster than I anticipated you would. You truly are your mothers son. Although you're more angel than demon but I can rectify that with time, all you need is your daily dose of this and the angel part will eventually succumb to the demon poison in your system. Just a few more doses of my blood and you'll forget that pitiful family of yours and stand where you truly belong. At my side " _

_He pulled out a syringe filled with a murky yellow fluid and inserted it into Deans arm depressing the plunger until all the medication had been dispensed._

" _What the hell is he giving me ?! " Dean asked angrily " And what does he mean angel ? I'm no freaking angel !! "_

" _Ssshhhhh Dean " Missouri whispered " I need to hear everything " Dean glared at the psychic, he was the one that was slowly being poisoned here not her. He was the one that they where talking about as if he was someone special, an angel !! Surely the Doc was crazy, I mean come he thought if anyone was the angel it was Sammy not him he thought._

" _Who'd have thought that you'd be so useful " he continued to stroke Deans hair tenderly and Dean was ashamed when he saw himself lean into the touch, it made the Doctor smile " Soon you'll call me father and together we can burn this world and make it ours !! "._

_Dean turned away from the sight his stomach threatening to expel its contents, his heart was thundering in his chest, his eyes where burning and he was finding it hard to breathe._

" _I want to go now I've seen enough, you've seen enough " , Missouri nodded and put her arm around Deans trembling shoulders, he shrugged her off_

" _Don't tell dad…..don't tell him that I……I " he closed his eyes tight trying to still his heart, he took a steadying breath then continued _

" _Don't tell him how I was with that jerk, please " the please was whispered but Missouri heard the desperate plea. She nodded her head sadly_

" _I won't honey "_

" _Can you help me now ? " he asked, he lifted his green eyes to hers and she felt her heart break at the pain and hopelessness she saw there_

" _Yea honey I can help now, I know exactly what to do "_

" _How do we get back. I don't have to click my heals together do I ?! " he asked an eyebrow raised_

" _No, you just have close your eyes and think of us sat back under that tree that's all, just concentrate real hard "._

_Dean felt himself floating again, he could feel the gentle breeze against his skin and knew that he was back by the pond. He opened his eyes and let out a deep trembling breath, he gave a small smile to Missouri, that made his eyes dance with mischief, _

" _Thank for flying Winchester airlines, have a nice day, and no offence but please don't come back "_

" _Boy !! You will never change " she shook her head smiling, they both walked back to the farm house lost in they're own thoughts. Dean was worried about his fathers reaction to the news that Missouri was going to deliver, would his father still love him ? Would he look at him the same way ? Was the demon still looking for him ? His head was spinning with all the questions making him feel a little dizzy_

" _Relax Dean your daddy will love you no matter what. He just wants to protect you is all make sure you and your brother are safe, we can do that now "_

_Dean nodded silently and followed Missouri into the kitchen where John, Sammy and the Pastor where sat, John raised his eyes to Missouri_

" _Well Missouri ? "_

" _I found out what happened John and I know how to help "_

" _What do we do ? " Sam asked, his eyes glanced to Dean who had his eyes determinedly fixed on the floor, Dean could feel the swirling emotions rolling off of all in the room, it was all too much_

" _Err……I think I'm just gonna…." he nodded to the porch and headed out the door, he didn't think he could stand the horrified looks from his loved ones that he knew he would receive. So he went and sat on the porch swing and waited out his fate. He didn't know whether they would accept him with loving arms or would dismiss him and leave him on his own to fend for himself. He gulped the lump back in his throat and wiped the tears from his eyes angry that his emotions where once again betraying him._

_Missouri watched dean leave and shook her head sadly as she watched Dean leave, she looked to the others who watched the screen door close quietly. John was the first to speak_

" _Missouri what did that demon do to my boy ? "_

" _What do you know about where Mary came from John ? "_

" _What's that got to do with anything ?! " he said frustrated running his hands through his hair_

" _It has a lot to do with it John it could make a big difference as to what happens to Dean " she explained calmly._

" _Dad, just answer the question if it'll help Dean what does it matter ? "_

" _Its not as simple as that Sam. There's a lot you don't know yet and a hell of a lot more than I understand"_

" _John calm down this isn't helping anyone, you're going to have to tell them sometime this is just too big to keep hidden " Jim stated it with a quiet calm that swept over John. He looked at his friend and let out a breath _

" _You're right….you're right. Ok Sam but I can only tell as much as I know. It just doesn't make any sense to me "_

" _Its ok dad, go on " Sam encouraged._

_John took a deep breath if he didn't get it out now he never would _

" _So Caleb told you that you'd both been lost to me before right ? When I got you both back it was so confusing in my heart I knew you where my boys but the 2 year gap between me thinking I'd lost you both then finding you again……it just didn't make any sense. The tests that Caleb did proved that you where my sons, now we just had to find out how and why you where taken. Bobby had some friends who he said could help me so I went on a dream walk to discover the truth. It showed me that your mother was…..she was…..a demon " Sam gasped and opened his mouth to question his dad " Let me finish Sam please this is hard enough as it is. Her name was Tiamat her true name anyway she was looking for atonement, apparently her father had promised it to her and I guess she took the chance. But her brother was non too impressed and killed her, I wanted to learn more so after I learnt this from the dream walk I researched all I could about a demon called Tiamat " he gave a humourless chuckle " Turns out she was an angel, took sides with Lucifer in the war in heaven her and the rest of her family where banished when Lucifer was defeated. I couldn't believe it a fucking angel !! You boys are descended from her, but seeing as I'm mortal you're only part angel " John shook his head it was all so unreal a part of him still didn't really believe it even now, Sam blew out a breath that he'd been holding since his dad had said his mom, they're mom was a demon._

" _So we're not demons ? " he asked quietly_

" _No son, neither you or your brother are demons, you're a direct descendant of a heavenly being "._

" _Well now that changes a lot " Missouri said " You're sure of all this John ? There's no mistake ? "_

" _None what-so-ever, I've researched as far as I can go and it all points in the same direction "_

" _That's great news. Now for something that's going to upset you some " John looked at the psychic with a raised brow, _

" _You think anything you have to say could make this any worse ? " he snorted. Missouri took a deep breath she knew John better than he thought she did and she knew that what she was about to say would make the man explode. It was like waiting for the mushroom after a nuclear bomb, but this explosion could prove to be far more deadly, she knew that John would have to tread carefully with Dean or they'd loose the boy forever. So with a trembling voice she told John what she'd seen through Deans mind trip, true to her word she left out the part where Dean had lent into the demons touch she'd made a promise after all._

" _Missouri that's all well an good but what the hell did the bastard give my son !! "_

" _It was blood John, the demons blood ". She saw the tempest grow in Johns eyes and was about to give out a warning when the dam broke and Johns anger at what had been done to his son spilled forth. _

" _I'm going to kill that bastard with my bare hands !! Who the fuck does he think he is ?! What the fuck as he turned my son into ?! " John was yelling, he was on his feet storming through the kitchen like a tornado, chairs where thrown out of his way as he continued on his path of destruction._

" _Sam go check on your brother " Pastor Jim advised, Sam nodded and left the kitchen and hurricane Winchester to make sure his brother was okay. He wandered out onto the porch his mind set on telling Dean that it didn't matter what the demon had given him, he was a boy of his own making, he could carve out his own destiny, they would do it together. But all that was there was an empty porch swing, it swung emptily its occupant gone. Sam swallowed down his fear an ran into the house,_

" _DAD!! Its Dean he's gone !! "._

_**Note; So where is Dean ? Has the demon returned ? Will John find him again ? Review to find out xx By the way I don't have a beta don't even know what a beta is so if there are any mistakes I take the blame its all on me… but please throw eggs and other things away from me I just washed my hair :0)**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Into The Fire . **_

"_DAD !! Its Dean he's gone ". Sam's shout silenced the rampaging eldest Winchester and he stopped suddenly his mouth hanging open, _

" _What ?! " John stared at Sam willing his son to be playing some kind of sick joke on him, but the scared look on Sam's face told him he wasn't,_

" _He can't have gone ". Sam glared at his father he was certain that he was the reason that Dean had left, the two remaining Winchesters got into a shouting match each blaming the other for Deans new disappearing act._

" _BOYS!! " Missouri shouted over the top of the arguing men " THIS IS NOT HELPING TO FIND DEAN !! " when she had the Winchesters attention she lowered her voice " Now, lets split up and search for him. He can't have gone far and he's protected from the demon now "_

" _Missouri's right. We need to all calm down and search for Dean. I'll go to the pond , Missouri you search the stables, Sam you look at the pens and John you search the barn, we'll meet back here in an hour " Jim said with his quiet calm that always seemed to still John. _

" _Ok, I can't loose him again Jim……I can't " Johns shoulders slumped his frame shaking with defeat and Sam felt guilty that he'd blamed their father for driving Dean away, he reached out a hand and placed it on his fathers strong arm that was shaking_

" _I'm sorry dad, I'm just worried "_

" _I am too son, we have to find him " the remaining Winchester men nodded to each other their eyes taking on that determined edge. If anyone or anything had taken Dean they would be very sorry. _

_John entered the barn quietly his ears listening for any sound that didn't belong there, the barn was deathly quiet and John let out a frustrated sigh running his hands through his hair, he let one shakily run across his face " Oh God Dean please be ok " he whispered_

" _Dad ? " the voice was quiet, Dean sleepily looked at his dad from the hay pile in the corner of the barn. He had bits of straw sticking out from his sleep tousled hair, rubbing his eyes as he had done when he was younger, John was over to his son and had him in his arms in three long strides_

" _Err……….dad ? Are you ok ? " he asked rather puzzled_

" _Thought I'd lost you "_

" _I was kinda tired after Missouri's mind trip so thought I'd take a trip to dreamland. Didn't mean to scare you " John pulled Dean closer to him and breathed in Deans smell. He smiled tears rolled down his cheeks Dean wrapped his arms around his dads neck_

" _Its ok dad, I'm ok "_

" _Dean never do that to me again !! You gave me a heart attack if you're going somewhere tell someone" John admonished_

" _Sorry " the 11 year old mumbled _

" _Its ok, you're ok that's all that matters "._

_Dean looked at his father not sure if he should ask what was playing on his mind, in truth he had been tired but he was so scared of how his dad would react to the news that he'd been being injected with demon blood that he'd sought out solace in the barn. He could feel the fear and worry coming of his father in waves so strong he could have been in the pacific in the middle of a storm, it was this that had woken him rather than actually hearing his dad speak. He picked at his worn denim jeans his eyes downcast he didn't think he could bear to see the disappointment there he thought he was sure to find,_

" _So……did Missouri tell you ? " he asked quietly_

" _She did, Dean look at me " Dean continued to stare at his jeans, he felt to ashamed to look his father in the eyes_

" _Dean, please look at me " the words where so soft, so unlike his father that Dean looked up and met his fathers deep brown eyes. They where gentle and full of love _

" _Its not your fault son, you will always be my boy no matter what that bas…. What that thing did to you "_

" _But dad….I could be a demon I could hurt you or Sammy "_

" _No you couldn't, you have too much of your mother in you "_

" _But…."_

" _Dean, you could never hurt us anymore than I could hurt you. You're a Winchester, not a demon no matter what he did to you. You will always be a Winchester ". John had held Deans eyes with his own making sure his son understood exactly what he meant. He saw the understanding shine through in Deans jade green eyes shining back at him, the relief there was evident and it broke Johns heart just a little bit more. Dean put his arms around John once more and hugged him tightly, the hug was returned with equal gusto. " Thanks dad, does this mean we can have pizza for tea " he grinned_

" _Yeah, ok pizza it is " he laughed " Come on, but be warned your brother is frantic !! "_

" _Oh no!! " Dean groaned, John laughed at how much feeling Dean could put into those two words._

_They entered the kitchen John with his hand resting on Deans shoulder protectively , Sam and Missouri where sat at the table while the Pastor was on the phone _

" _He was wearing a black t-shirt and ripped jeans with black converse sneakers…….Dean !!…..What ? No not you his fathers found him…yes thank you goodbye "_

" _Who where you talking to ? " John asked_

" _The police I was just placing a missing persons report "_

" _Sorry " Dean mumbled, the Pastor pulled Dean towards him and knelt in front of him_

" _No need to be sorry my boy, you're safe that's all that matters " the Pastors eyes were shining brightly as he hugged Dean,_

" _Dean are you alright ?, Where did you go ? " Sam was at his side now pulling him away from the Pastor and turning him to face him. Dean could feel the worry radiating off his brother but the anger he felt there also was overpowering, Dean felt like he was drowning in it but he managed to mumble out_

" _I'm fine, I was just in the barn I didn't go far "_

" _That's not the point Dean, do you realise how worried we where ? It looked like you'd been taken again. Do you know what you did to us ? To dad ? " Sam's anger was bubbling and he was gripping Dean harshly shaking him slightly_

" _I'm sorry " Dean said through muffled sobs tears spilling from his eyes " I didn't mean to scare anyone "_

" _Well you did !! " Sam spat_

" _Sam that's enough " John interrupted. Dean took the advantage of Sam being distracted by his dad and took of at a run for their bedroom, he slammed the door shut when he got there breathing heavily._

_Didn't Sam understand, this was all too much, he could feel everything, everyone's fear, Sam's anger, the worry that Missouri and Pastor Jim were feeling. His head felt like it was in a vice and he fisted his hands into his hair " Stop, please make it stop " he pleaded, but the feelings he could feel from the others only seemed to intensify and Dean found himself on his knees his eyes shut tight trying to block out the emotions that where crashing around him._

" _STOP IT !! " he screamed " I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE LEAVE ME ALONE !! " , there was a quiet knock at the door and John entered the room, the worry slammed into Dean as John came nearer _

" _Don't dad please, I can't take it, I can feel everything its just too much " Dean held his hand in front of him to still John in coming further forward, John stilled_

" _Here son drink this its ok its just holy water it'll help I promise " John offered his trembling son the glass and Dean took it with shaky hands and drank the contents of the glass. He leaned his head against the wall keeping his eyes closed_

" _Sammy hates me now, I could feel it "_

" _He doesn't hate you Dean he was scared, it was hard for him when you where gone, it was hard for all of us but your brother took it the hardest "_

" _I hate this, I hate being a freak I …..I just want it all to stop. Can't you make it stop…please dad " he begged John, he reached out for Dean who allowed his father to gather him into a bear hug_

" _You're not a freak Dean " he whispered into his hair " It'll be ok I promise, Missouri said that regular glasses of holy water will help you. It won't get rid of the empathy but it'll help you to control it. You have to start by closing doors on others peoples feelings "_

" _Doors ? "_

" _Yeah only open them when you want, each person you meet has a different door "_

" _You think I can do that ? "_

" _I know you can son, I know you can " he was gently stroking Deans hair, watching his face as his eyelids fluttered closed, Dean opened them again and looked into his dads face, he shot his father a glare_

" _Dad ? " he croaked_

" _Hmmmmmm"_

" _You drugged the water didn't you ? "_

" _Sorry kid, but you needed the rest , now go to sleep ". Dean nodded his head and relaxed into Johns embrace letting the sedative take him blissfully away, John sat cradling Dean while he slept his mind was a torrent of thoughts. His son had begged him to make it stop to end it and he was helpless, _

" _Oh Mary what am I going to do ? I just want to help him, but I feel like I'm letting him down, letting you down. What the hell am I supposed to do ? God I wish you where here " he felt the tears leaving their tracks down his face and had neither the thought or inclination to wipe them away. A soft knock at the door brought him from his musings, Sam entered the room and looked to his brother sleeping in his fathers arms looking a lot younger and more vulnerable than he remembered his big brother ever looking. He jutted his chin towards the sleeping form " He ok ? "_

" _He will be, we all will be. He thinks you hate him " John said turning his eyes to his son, Sam's mouth fell open in shock _

" _Why would he think that ? "_

" _When you where talking to him after I brought him in after finding him in the barn he said he felt it, he felt that you hated him "_

" _I don't hate him dad " Sam scuffed his sneaker against the thread worn carpet " I was scared to death, I hate what that demon has done to our family, I hate that we don't have a mom, that you don't have a wife but I could never hate Dean he's my brother "_

" _I know son, but I think he needs to hear that from you "._

_Sam nodded and came further into the room holding out his arms for Dean _

" _Its ok dad I got him, Why don't you go get sleep yourself you look beat "_

" _Yeah ok " he handed Dean over knowing that Sam needed to feel close to his brother. The boys had always been close, connected even Sam had often said he'd dreamn't of his brother when he had been younger. Dreams where he'd seen his brother in a bright white room lain out on a bed, sometimes they'd talked but the dreams had faded the older he'd got and John had thought it was a child's way of dealing with grief so had ignored his youngest son when he'd told them that Dean was in a hospital and needed them to save him. Now he wished he'd listened and maybe they could have avoided all this mess that seemed to just be growing worse as the years went on. John could only hope that things would now start to get back to normal, well as normal as things could get for the Winchesters. He wandered to his room with bleary eyes he hadn't realised just how tired he was, he was asleep before his head even hit the pillow and fell into a fitful sleep._

_It took him a few minutes to realise that he must be dreaming, he was stood outside a house that was once white but now had soot smothered over its surface. The window frames held no glass and burnt curtains hung in the frames. A twisted tree stood in the front yard that had dead grass all around it , he suddenly realised where he was. It was the house where he had lost his life, his Mary. John took a step back and tried to take in a breath but it was stuck in his throat and he found himself struggling to breathe. He finally managed to take in a strangled struggled breath and continued to stare at the house. It had been years since he'd dreamt of the former Winchester home and he didn't want to start again now. He closed his eyes willing himself to wake up but when he opened his eyes the house was still there the sky above darkening so John took steps forward on leaden legs and entered the house._

" _Ok, I'm here what do you want ? "_

" _I'm sorry John " it was a voice he hadn't heard in 16 years, but he knew it. He felt the tears prick his eyes afraid to turn around to face that voice. He felt the feather light touch on his back, it traced upwards to his shoulder and rested there, he took a slow steady breath and released it then turned around, she looked as beautiful as the day he first met her. She smiled tenderly at him and he felt the tears come freely now they flowed down his cheeks and he didn't wipe them away._

" _Mary ? Is that really you ? "_

" _Yes John it is "_

" _Mary " she wrapped her arms around him he pulled her into his arms, she felt solied, real, whole, but he knew she wasn't knew that this was just a dream and when he woke up he would be alone. He breathed her in, she smelt of jasmine and daisies_

" _John I don't have much time you have to listen to me "_

" _Mary, is it true ? That you're a…………..you're a…….a.." he just couldn't bring himself to complete the question, even though he'd seen it for himself all those years ago he needed to hear it from her. She nodded, her beautiful face looked so sad those jade green eyes that Dean had inherited where so full of sadness, of regret a lone tear fell down her cheek_

" _I'm sorry, it is true. But you have to understand I was trying to atone for that. I was once an angel, but I was swayed by Lucifer he was so persuasive made me, us think that we should be held above all others and I fell after the war was lost with all those who followed him. After I was forced to marry Apsu my father promised me that I would be given the chance at a life that I could make my own. I wandered the earth for years alone till I found you, and I loved you with everything I had. It was you who made me human John who made me remember who I really was, who I am. Then we had two beautiful sons they're both more angel than demon, but Azazel he can sway them, tempt them, he'll try again. You have to keep them safe John "_

" _I will, I'll die to protect them "_

" _I know you will " she smiled " But he's coming, you have to be ready , they have to be ready "_

" _What about this prophecy ? " she sighed and bit at her lower lip_

" _It says that a child born from a demon but with a heavenly blessing will be the one to send Azazel into eternal damnation, never to return. Killed by the fire which he creates and uses to destroy "_

" _Dean…." John whispered, she nodded_

" _He's getting there John but my brother won't give up, and he'll try anything to get to him, hurt anyone. I'm going to send someone to help you, he was one of my brothers before the war he'll help to train Dean spiritually "_

" _Spiritually ? " John cocked an eyebrow " Are you kidding me ?! "_

" _John……….please this is important " she scolded John blew the air from his nose in frustration ,_

" _Fine, fine so who is this brother ? "_

" _Michael " she said quietly ",_

" _Michael, as in arch angel Michael ?! Isn't he the guy who sent you to hell in the first place ? "_

" _Yes that Michael and he owes me a favour , don't ask " she said at the look on Johns face, " I have to go now John "_

" _Wait……can't you…..can't you stay a bit longer ? " he had a pleading look in his eyes and reached out to her to take her in his arms again but she stepped away already seeming to be fading _

" _I can't John I have to go. Michael will be with you soon, make Dean listen to him and tell him…tell him…" but before she could complete what she was going to say she was gone and John was left alone ._

_**Sorry this has taken so long been mad busy with work and that annoying thing they call life. Plus this chapter was really hard to write and I'm still not happy with it. But I had to get something out so here it is. Hope you enjoyed it xx I'll try an update again soon but can't make any promises. I'm back to the graveyard shift in a couple of weeks so the chapters should be coming out quicker. Plus I got another story milling around my noggin it's a dark angel/ supernatural crossover so keep your peepers open. Well that's it for now guys xxx**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey all , well I'm sorry about this guys but I kinda lost it at the minute with this story at the minute. I know where I want to go with this just not sure how to do it so I'm going to take a break and hope that I get an idea sooner rather than later.**

**Sorry for you letting you all down I'll try and do my best to get the creative juices flowing as soon as possible.**


	9. Chapter 9

John awoke with a start the dream still so fresh in his mind , he could still smell Mary the lingering smell of jasmine was tickling his nostrils. So many things had happened in the past years that John wasn't sure just how much more he could take , and now he was being visited by his dead wife. He wiped a hand tiredly across his face the dream replaying through his mind. So Mary was sending an angel to help them, an arch angel no less. How the hell was he supposed to deal with it ? Should he tell the boys the truth about Michael who he was and why he was there? When was he going to turn up? Now ? In a few weeks ? Years ? Its not as though Mary had been specific in the details on this and how was he supposed to recognise this angel?

" God I need a drink " he said quietly, he climbed out of bed and walked downstairs it was still very early and he was the only one up, instead of heading for the whiskey which he was craving he made his way to the kitchen and made himself a cup of steaming black coffee, he took it onto the porch to watch the sunrise. The colours spreading through the sky in a beautiful warming glow, he closed his eyes and leant back in the porch swing the sound of the screen door opening quietly alerted him John cracked an eye open to see Dean watching him rubbing at his eyes and peering at him owlishly.

" Hey kiddo what you doing up at this time ? " he asked

" I heard someone moving around , are you okay dad ? "

" Sure I am. You sleep well ? "

" Not bad. Dad ? "

" Yeah what is it Dean ? "

" Do I still have to go to school ? " , John looked to his bleary eyed son who was now sitting beside him on the porch swing and laughed. It was a deep rumble that he couldn't help and the curious look that Dean was shooting him wasn't helping matters at all,

" Yeah son you still have to go to school, sorry but your mom would have wanted you to "

" Oh " Dean looked to his feet and furrowed his brow as if he was in deep concentration then he looked to his father again

" But how will we explain why I haven't been in school ? Won't they ask ? "

" Its ok son Pastor Jim and I have something planned they won't ask too many questions " he placed an arm around Deans slight shoulders and pulled him in, Dean settled into his fathers embrace they both sat there in companiable silence watching the sun rise together.

The months passed quickly and with no sign of Michael appearing John forgot about the dream where Mary had spoken to him. The Winchesters carried on as normal leaving the comforts of the Pastors house after the summer so John could start to pursue some hunts, things where as normal as they could ever be for the family, Dean returned to school with Sam and without the responsibility of bringing up his baby brother his grades flourished, at some of the schools he attended over the coming years his teachers referred to him as a genius. Dean didn't know about that and often thought they over reacted so he tried to tone down his intelligence for fear that it would bring unwanted attention to him and his family, Deans world fell apart when he was 13 he came home from school being late after baseball practice to what he could only describe as world war 3. His father and brother were once again at each others throats screaming at each other they didn't even notice him stood there, the insults flying out of both their mouths dripping with venom was beyond any other argument that Dean had witnessed and he was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

" You can't stop me, I'm going, I'm not a weapon you can use in your crusade to kill this damn demon "

" I never said you where but you can't go its…..its too far "

" Too far ? Is that the best you can come up with ? Face it dad you just can't stand that I won't be here anymore to look after Dean and you're going to have to take some responsibility "

" Don't bring your brother into this Samuel "

" You brought him into it when you decided to go after the demon, why can't you just let us be normal "

They continued on yelling at one another until Dean took a tentative step forward

" What's going on ? " he asked raising his voice to be heard over the yelling Winchesters, Sam span around and faced Dean

" I'm going to college Dean. I got a full ride to Stanford its one of the best schools there is "

" You're leaving ? " Dean looked into the eyes of his stubborn brother and knew that he'd already decided he was leaving the Winchester family.

" Dean I want more than hunting " John scoffed and turned his back away from both his sons " I want a normal life away from killing and worrying whether you're going to make it out alive of the next hunt. I…….I just want to live a normal life "

" Sam, so help me if you leave this house don't you ever you come back " Sam faced his father his eyes bore into him

" Fine, I'm gone " he picked up his duffle and slammed out of the apartment, John punched a wall and stormed into his small study and slammed the door.

Dean took off after his brother,

" SAM !! SAMMY WAIT PLEASE!! " he yelled but Sam was already stepping onto the bus and if he heard his brother he didn't acknowledge that he did he just sat in a seat. As the bus was pulling away Dean was running at the side of it yelling Sam's name trying to get his attention but his words didn't seem to penetrate the glass, defeated Dean dropped to his knees and sobbed, he didn't care that people where staring at him or that his tough exterior had been stripped bare for all to see, all Dean cared about was that his brother, his life had left him. He didn't know how long he sat here but when he finally raised himself to his feet the sky was darkening and he could feel the cold creeping into his bones, wiping his eyes he wandered back to the apartment that his father had rented.

The room was dark when he entered, there was no sign of his father and Dean hadn't seen the impala in the parking lot, he sighed and went to the bathroom to wash his face. He looked in the mirror to find red rimmed eyes staring back at him he looked away quickly washed his face and went to his room to lie down. The room seemed empty without Sam there, Dean felt empty. He didn't blame his brother for wanting to go to college he remembered conversations from before he'd been taken by the demon even though Sam had been so young he'd always wanted to go to college so why should now be any different. A voice at the back of his mind told him that it was different now, that the whole situation was different but maybe Sam had left because of Dean. He'd said he didn't want to look after Dean any more at least that's what he'd heard anyway. But Dean could take of himself , had always been able to take care of himself so why would Sam leave ?

" He wanted to be away from you " a voice said " Its you that brings him down and even your father doesn't want you, or he'd be here now "

" That's not true " Dean said aloud " Maybe I can call Sam make him see that I can look after myself, he can come home then and we can be a family again " with this thought lingering in his mind Dean rolled onto his stomach and let sleep claim him.

John entered the apartment two hours later to find his young son sleeping on his bed, he let out a relieved breath, he'd been searching for Dean since he'd heard the young teen bolt after his brother and hadn't been able to find him.

" You keep disappearing on me son and you're going to be the death of me " he said quietly he ran his fingers through Deans short light brown hair and let his hand linger on his cheek. Dean moved into the touch and his eyelids fluttered open,

" Dad ? " he croaked

" Hey, you okay ? Where'd you run off to sport ? "

" I err…………I just went out " he mumbled not wanting to admit to his dad that he'd unsuccessfully chased Sam down

" Can I…………can I call Sammy tomorrow dad ? Please ? " Dean gave his dad a pleading look, that John just didn't think he could say to, and they thought it was only Sam who could do the puppy eyes John thought , how wrong they where. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat in truth he didn't know if Sam would answer his phone he could only hope that he would, for Deans sake.

" Sure son, you can call him if you want " Deans face lit up and a sense of hope shone in his eyes that made Johns chest tighten he could only hope that Sam would just answer the phone.

" You hungry son ? "

" Nah , I'm good. Tired though "

" Get some rest then " , Dean nodded his head and snuggled back down under the covers. His last thought as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep was that everything would be alright tomorrow, he'd call Sam and Sam would come home, or maybe he could visit him during vacation. Yes tomorrow everything would be better.

Authors note; Okay guys that's it, I tried my hardest to get another chapter out for ya it took me ages to write it and I don't know feel like I'm losing my way with this story, I know where I want to go with it but finding it very hard to put it into words.

But I'm going to persevere. On a different note just watched mystery spot and cried along with Sam…………Man I love this show xxxxxx Go on now and make my day and leave a review make me believe that I'm writing for a reason at least…please……


	10. Chapter 10

16 year old Dean Winchester was sat in math lazily doodling on his notebook. It was a warm spring day and he was counting down the minutes to when term finished and he could go to the farm and spend some time with the Pastor and Caleb. His mind began to wander and as always his thoughts where drawn to his brother, he hadn't spoken to his brother in 3 years and it still hurt him that he wouldn't answer any of his letters. At first he'd argued with himself that Sammy didn't always have an address to write back to him, but when he'd got a post box near the farm and his letters continued to go un-answered there where no more excuses he could think of.

He'd called his brother the day after he'd left and spoken to him briefly, the conversation had not gone well and Dean could remember the conversation as if it was yesterday. Sam had picked up the phone after only 3 rings, Dean had gone to a phone box to call his brother knowing that Sam would never answer if he used his dad's phone and he wasn't all too sure if John would allow it.

" Hello " Sam had answered

" Sammy !! Its Dean "

" Dean where are you ? "

" I'm in Phoenix with dad, I'm at a pay phone, I tried to follow you yesterday but you and your freaky long legs got too far ahead of me " Dean laughed nervously, Sam remained silent

" Sammy?……….. You still there ? "

" Yeah I'm still here. What do you want Dean ? "

" I……….I just wanted to talk "

" Did dad put you up to this ? Cause I'm not coming back, I'm through with hunting and everything to do with it !! "

" No dad doesn't know I'm calling you, I snuck out. I just want to talk Sammy, not to make you come back, I miss you " Sammy laughed but there was no joy in it, it sounded bitter and hollow

" Already ? I've only been gone one night !! "

" I know, but……….well……I…….. " he sighed " You're right I'm just being stupid. Hey can I come visit you next break ? It could be fun "

" Let me think about it okay. College isn't exactly the place for a 13 year old, there isn't much for you to do here "

" But….but…I'd be with you. We always find fun stuff to do " Sam sighed and Dean had felt his heart break, the tears began to sting his eyes and his breath hitched in his chest

" It doesn't matter, look I have to go I'm running out of money I'll write to you " he heard Sam start to speak but didn't want to hear anything more so he hung up. He hadn't called Sam again the pain in being rejected by his brother was too much. It was hard enough when his Sam hadn't written back to him but to actually hear the rejection was far too painful. He was brought back to the present when he heard his name being called

" Winchester are you even listening to me ? "

" Huh ? " the other students snickered and looked round to Dean who was giving the teacher a bemused look, the teacher rolled her eyes at Dean and gestured towards the board

" I asked if you would be so kind as to work out the problem on the board " Dean rose from his chair a charming smile plastered on his face

" Sure thing Miss Stokes " he sent a wink as he walked past and she blushed which made the smile on his face grow larger.

Dean looked at the puzzle on the board and smiled it was just too easy he completed the answer and turned around grinning, Miss Stokes smiled

" Well done Dean, record time to " he wandered back to his seat and started to once again count down the minutes till the bell rang symboling the end of the day and the start of the summer holidays.

The bell rang 5 minutes later and Dean left his seat quickly and headed for the door, he moved out into the hallway and tried to avoid the jocks who we're trying to make his life a misery, he'd promised his dad that he wouldn't fight at school but these idiots where making it difficult to not do just that. His dad was worried that he'd loose his temper and use his powers against them it had happened on hunts when his dad had been in danger, so far it had worked out well, the last time being a rather nasty wendigo in the northern woods of North Dakota. The beast had ignored Dean and gone for his father who obviously looked like a tastier meal, Deans flare gun had jammed and in his panic and fear he had sent a fire ball into the wendigo's chest, it had worked and the wendigo had screamed as it was dispatched from the world. Although it was a success John wanted his son to not rely on his powers they still didn't fully understand them after all this time and John's argument was that they could be gone one day, and where would Dean be then. So his training was increased, Dean didn't mind all that much he liked the time he got to spend with his dad, he looked at it as a strange way of bonding with the elder Winchester.

He was looking forward to seeing the Pastor again he was like a grandfather, always willing to listen and never judge. He'd listened to Deans worries and fears over Sam and had told him to be patient , that Sam would come round eventually he just needed to find himself.

Dean was still wondering just what the hell the Pastor had meant by that, he didn't even realise that Sam was lost, he didn't seem lost in fact Dean knew exactly where he was, so how didn't Sam know ?

But apparently the Pastor was being philosophical about his meanderings which left Dean back at square one.

Dean wandered back to the motel that he and his father were staying in, for once it was quite decent in a nice part of town, he still looked over his shoulder his fathers words rang in his ears " always be aware of your surroundings " so he kept his eyes and his ears open. Of course he'd never had a problem no-one had ever followed him or bothered him in the slightest so Dean was a little surprised at the guy in his late twenties who was following him now. Maybe he was being a little paranoid, he decided to take a short cut down an alley to see if the guy would follow. He did. Shit, shit, shit. The guy was at least 3 sizes bigger than him and all muscle, Dean was pretty sure he could still take him, after all you use your opponents weaknesses against them, he just didn't fancy a tussle with the guy.

He dipped down another alley and took cover to observe the man further, "confront the situation before he confronts you " his father had told him " you be in control, that's where success lies ". The man came down the alley his grey eyes searching, he passed Deans hidden position and Dean stepped out

" Why are you following me ? " he asked, the man turned slowly to face him, his eyes raked over Dean making him feel uncomfortable

" Hello Dean. I think you've been expecting me " Dean raised a brow at the man

" Sorry to burst your bubble dude but I don't swing that way, plus don't you think you're a little old for

me ? " the man smirked

" Not what I meant. My names Michael "

" Okay…..that helps me how ? Dude I don't know you, so stop acting like you know me, and how the hell do you know my name ? " Michael shuddered when Dean said hell ,

" We have a mutual friend , and please don't say that " Michael replied " Shall we head to your home ? We need to start your training as soon as possible "

" Training ? Training for what ? Look man who the hell are you ? " Michael visibly shuddered again at the word hell

" Can you please not say that "

" Say what ? " Dean asked puzzled ,

" The 'H' word "

" H word……..oh you mean hell ? " Michael again shuddered and sent Dean a warning glare, Dean grinned

" I asked you not to say it " Michael growled

" Yeah you did. But you didn't say please " he smirked as Michael took a step forward , Dean held his ground

" You really don't wan to push me boy "

" Why wouldn't I like you when your angry. Dude you so not are David Banner "

" Who's David Banner ? " Dean gave Michael an incredulous look

" What do you mean who's David Banner ? it's the incredible hulk man, the big green dude, Stan Lee " Michael shot Dean an annoyed look

" First its David Banner now its Stan Lee, do you even know these people ? ". Dean shook his head and began to walk away

" I gotta get back, nice as this chat's been my dads expecting me home…..without company " he added, Michael took a step towards him

" Dean we don't have time for this, I need you prepared. The war is coming and I, we need you in control"

" And I told you I'm not interested, just leave me the hell alone " he emphasised the hell and grinned as Michael flinched. He left the alley and Michael behind and continued onto the motel, his dads impala was parked in front of the room, Dean sighed John was expecting him back a half hour ago he didn't tolerate tardiness so Dean was expecting to get his ear chewed. What he didn't expect was Michael to be sat calmly on the couch talking with his dad. Dean stopped dead, his mouth hanging open

" How the hell did you get here so fast ? ! "

" Will you not say that word !! " Michael growled through clenched teeth, John stared at his son

" You met Michael already ? " he asked

" Yeah, he's the reason I'm late. He followed me down an alley, thought he was some kid of perv or something " John spat out his coffee and began to choke on it

" You thought what ? " he coughed, Michael patted him on the back an amused grin on his face

" Do you even know who this is ? " Dean frowned

" He said he's called Michael. What else is there to know ? " he asked,

" You didn't tell him did you ? " Michael asked, John shook his head

" I just thought it was a dream, and then you never showed up so I forgot about it "

" Does someone want to tell me what's going on ? " Dean asked, John took a deep breath and looked to his son

" This is Michael. Arch angel Michael. He's here to complete your training "

" You have got to be shitting me ? "

" DEAN !! Watch you language " John admonished. Michael shook his head and looked to Dean

" I can guarantee that we are not shitting you Dean. I am who your father says and I'm here to complete your training "

" Prove it. Prove that you're an angel " John scrubbed a hand over his face and groaned at his son. Michael stood the room grew bright he took on an ethereal glow , wings huge and golden sprouted from his back and spread wide, his eyes that had been grey shone a bright blue the glow subdued and the room and Michael returned to normal. Dean stared wide eyed at the angel, his eyes full of wonder and childlike innocence

" You're really an honest to God angel ? " he asked, Michael nodded, Dean took a step forward towards the angel, he reached out a tentative hand and placed it on the mans chest. Michael smiled gently and placed his hand over Deans

" Are you ready to begin your training ? " the angel asked

" Yeah I guess " he said quietly " What do I have to do ? "

" Just come with me. Close your eyes we'll be back soon " Dean closed his eyes and felt himself being pulled as if through water,

" Open your eyes Dean " when Dean opened his eyes he was stood in a wide sun clearing surrounded by a circle of trees

" Okay Dean lets begin " .

A/N; Please review, think my muse has come back for this story, and don't worry Sammy will be back soon enough, and him not replying its not what you think…..you may not be happy with what I do write but I think its going to be pretty good, so bear with me xxx


	11. Chapter 11

A/N; Okay I think I kind of made a bit of a boo boo with the guys ages here. Sam is 6 years older than his brother so Dean is 16 and Sam is 22. Just thought I'd clear that up because it bugged me when I read it back, but not sure how to change it. Oh dear lol it's that technology thing again, its just no good is it? Anyhow, back to the story………………………………...

Sam walked back from his last class of the day, it was now officially spring break and he was looking forward to spending some time with his girlfriend Jess. They'd been living together for two and a half years, and Sam couldn't be happier, he'd finally found the normal he'd been craving for so long. The only thing that was missing, that he truly missed from his old life was his older/little brother, and saying that was never going to stop being weird.

To all that didn't know the family well enough he was the older brother by six years, but in reality he was four years younger than his brother, but after his brother had been kidnapped by a demon he'd remained at age ten whilst Sam had aged along with everyone else. It had something to do with the demon using dimensional shifts and Dean had been stuck in one of these. It had been a lot for them all to adjust to, that plus the fact his brother was an empath and could make fire out of thin air, oh and did he mention that he himself had visions and had telekinesis ?

Yep life as a Winchester was never dull that was for damn sure, still he'd left that life behind, he didn't want to be a hunter, to be a psychic freak so he'd applied to universities and been accepted at Stanford and gladly taken the opportunity to get away, he just wished he could have taken his brother with him, or that he hadn't messed up the only time his brother had called. He'd still been angry at his father and had taken it out on Dean. He'd tried to apologise when he'd heard the hurt tone in his brothers voice but Dean had hung up whilst he was trying to apologise never giving him the chance and Sam hadn't stopped feeling guilty about it. He'd thought of writing to him but as they didn't have a fixed address he couldn't, he'd thought about writing to Pastor Jims in the hope that the man would pass the letters on, but if his father got hold of them first he wasn't really sure if Dean would ever receive them. He'd been thinking about his brother a lot lately, what he was like now, did he like school, how was he doing at school , did he hate him for leaving, so with all these thoughts in mind he'd come to a decision, he planned on making a trip to Pastor Jims this break, try and catch his brother there, they always went to the farm on holidays from school, he'd been so busy with school himself and part time jobs that visiting family had been far from his mind and as this was the first chance he'd had he wasn't going to waste it.

It would be his last night with Jess, she was going to visit her family in Colorado, she'd asked Sam to join her but Sam had said he had to much work to do, he felt bad lying to Jess but she was a little funny when it came to his family, he didn't really remember speaking of them but guessed he must have said something when he was drunk as she seemed to know bits about them and always seemed very unimpressed. She always spoke of them with venom in her words and Sam wanted their last night together to be special. He was planning a romantic meal for them and was even going to use candles and prepare the meal himself. He went to the market and got all the ingredients he'd need for the meal he had planned, it was Jess's favourite and he couldn't wait to see her face. She was going to be later than usual as she had to work an extra shift at the library, a compromise with her boss so she had the time off to visit her family.

Sam prepared the meal with great care, and set the table with the best plates and cutlery they had. A deep red cloth covered the table and a small vase of white and yellow roses stood in the middle, Sam had read somewhere that to give the person you loved red roses was to tell them that you didn't trust them, a sign of jealousy. If you wanted to show you loved them yellow was the way to go, the problem was the dozen roses he wanted had to be a mixture but at least they weren't red that was what was important, right?

Sam stood back and admired his work, it looked perfect he just needed the candles, if only he could remember where he'd put them…….He searched high and low and was just about to give up when he remembered that Jess had some in her treasure chest, he'd seen them once when he'd come home early and she was putting some things away, she'd seemed surprised and had slammed the lid shut. Sam had teased her asking what she kept in there and Jess had made him promise never to go in there, NEVER!! He was a little taken aback but thought who was he to judge after the secret weapons he had stashed in places, plus the secrets he kept about his past. So Sam had agreed and hadn't thought anything about it since, but he really needed those candles.

He went into their room and lifted the handle, it was locked he should have known really, it didn't matter no lock was safe with a Winchester around his dad had taught him and his brother well. He'd been able to pick locks since he was seven so a lock on a treasure chest didn't stand a chance, he had it open in no time and was carefully looking through the chest in search of those elusive candles when a bundle of envelopes caught his eye. It wasn't the fact that Jess had letters in there, it was the fact that the letters where addressed to him. Curious Sam took the letters out, that's when he recognised the neat wording, it was his brothers handwriting, Sam's heart was suddenly in his mouth. Why would Jess have letters to him from his brother in her chest ? And why had she been keeping them from him ? Sam gathered the letters into his hands, took them into the living room and sat on the couch heavily. The letters where unopened and Sam tore into them hungrily, like a starving man devouring a first meal. The first letter was Dean talking about how he was doing at school, and saying how sorry he was for the disastrous phone call. Sam felt the shame all over again, he wished he could turn back time and re-do the whole conversation again, he'd have had Dean at every holiday, if of course his dad had allowed it. But he couldn't change the past and as he read letter, after letter his heart began to break, his brother was losing faith in him and had no idea that he hadn't received the letters. His last one simply said;

Dear Sam,

So I finally get it, you don't want to know me, you can't even be bothered to write back. Are you even reading these or do they just go in the trash ? Well whatever man, I'm through ,this is the last you'll hear from me. I've closed the box down not that it matters very much huh ? Take care of yourself Sammy, just be happy, I hope you're happy.

Love always Dean

Sam felt the wetness on his cheeks the last letter was dated a month ago, Sam was just gathering all the letters together when he heard the door go,

" Sam, I'm home " Jess called out, a rage that Sam hadn't felt in a long time bubbled within him he stood slowly from his seat and wiped at his face angrily, Jess came in all bright smiles until she saw Sam's stony look, she froze a look of confusion on her face,

" Sam ? What's wrong ? " Sam shook the letters at her, her confused face turned to one of shock

" Why the hell do you have letters addressed to me from my brother Jess ? "

" You went in my chest ? " she asked

" What ? I cannot believe that that is your answer !! WHY DO YOU HAVE THESE ? " Jess shrank back at the anger radiating off Sam

" Some of these are before we even started living together , before I even knew you. Care to explain ? " he asked ice lacing his tone, his usual caring eyes were dark and stormy, hard. Jess gasped this was a side of Sam she had never seen,

" I……I…….Its complicated Sam "

" Then make it uncomplicated Jess, its real easy, you tell me what the hell is going on. Now " Jess nodded and took a seat on the couch twisting her hands nervously , tears where rolling down her pretty face but at this moment in time Sam couldn't seem to care, she took a deep breath and began

" It…it was my job to keep you separate from them "

" From who ? "

" Your family " she whispered not looking at him

" Why ? " Sam asked, anger once again in his voice, it was shaking he just wanted to grab hold of his girlfriend and shake the answers from her, but that wouldn't help

" I……..please Sam I can't they'll kill me if I tell . He'll kill my father" Sam stiffened, he didn't want to lose Jess but he had to know who was plotting against him and his family

" I won't let that happen you'll be safe " she looked at him with scared eyes, her lower lip trembled

" You won't believe me, this is going to sound crazy "

" Try me, I can do crazy "

" Okay, you asked for it. Three years ago my dad was dying from cancer, a man came to the house and said he could save him, but I had to be willing to serve him. I thought he was crazy but I was out of my mind, my mom died when I was little, it was just me and dad and I was so scared I didn't want to loose him. So I……….I agreed, I swear I didn't know what he was planning I didn't know that I'd fall in love with you Sam, and I have Sam. But he said if I didn't do as he said he'd kill my father and then he'd kill me, I don't want to die Sam " she began to sob, her small frame trembling from the force of the sobs coming from her,

" What did he want you to do ? " he asked quietly

" He wanted me to keep you and your brother apart, to get close to you, to stop any contact with you and your family "

" Who was it ? "

" I told you it was a man " she said her eyes red but now the tears had stopped and her trembling was subsiding,

" I need a name Jess, if you want my help I need a name " Jess opened her mouth to speak then froze her head snapped back so her face was pointing towards the ceiling, when she looked at him again her blue yes were a murky yellow, Sam stumbled backwards, the yellow eyed Jess was now smirking at him

" Hello Sammy, you remember me ? No ? Ah well youth today no respect, it chills a demons heart "

" You're….you're a demon ? Where's Jess ? "

" Oh she's in here with me, its all cosy, like sharing a sleeping bag " the demon ran its hands over Jess's body making Sam cringe

" Stop that, leave her alone "

" Can't do that Sammy, Jess's soul is mine. Didn't know she was such a blabber gums or I'd never of made the deal with her. Still it has its perks, most of my meat suits aren't as pretty "

" I said stop it " Sam said as he rushed the demon, he was pinned to the wall before he knew what had hit him

" Tsk, tsk Sammy its not polite to interrupt your elders when they're talking to you. Did that daddy of yours teach you no manners ? "

" Fuck you "

" Huh. Guess not " he chuckled " Now then, what to do with Jess "

" You leave her alone, she's innocent in this " Sam spat, the demon raised one of Jess's brows

" Oh you think so do you ? Did she tell you how dear old mommy died ? " Sam glared " Take that as a no then. Well the thing is Sammy, Jess killed her mom "

" You're lying " Sam yelled

" Am I now. May have been an accident but thing is little Jess ain't so sweet , yep she killed mommy dearest cause mommy was a little heavy handed. Stabbed her mom with a kitchen knife was going to do daddy to but he managed to persuade otherwise "

" Demons lie, you're lying " Sam was shaking his head unable to believe anything the demon was saying to him. Jess may have made some bad decisions but Sam couldn't and wouldn't believe that Jess could kill someone let alone her mom. The demon was smirking at him again it moved towards him and gently stroked his face, Sam flinched away

" Its not your time yet Sam, but it will be soon, you and that brother of yours. Soon you're going to be mine, working for me, side by side "

" What about Jess ? "

" Oh I don't need her anymore "

" You'll let her go ? " Sam asked, he knew this was probably a stupid question a waste of time but he had to ask, the demon smirked

" Oh yeah, I'll let her go, but she did betray me…….. So a little punishment at least " the demon rushed from Jess's mouth and she crumpled to the floor, Sam was released immediately he crawled over to Jess and with trembling fingers tried for a pulse in her neck. There was a small one, she turned her head towards him

" I'm sorry Sam, I'm so sorry " she whispered

" Its okay its over now he's gone, you're safe "

" No, I'm not " she breathed, before Sam could react Jess's body was pulled by an invisible force across the floor and up the wall

" JESS !! " Sam yelled he tried to move but again felt himself held in place. He watched in horror as Jess was drawn up the wall and onto the ceiling, her stomach suddenly opened in a vivid red gash her blood dripped from the wound landing on Sam's face

" No, no, God Jess "

" Forgive me " she whimpered before the ceiling around her burst into flame consuming her body, blackness encroached on Sam it welcomed him like an old friend until he knew no more.

A/N; Okay not posted this story for a while but think I'm getting there again. Not long to go with it now though maybe another couple of chapters. Didn't want Sam to be heartless and I thought if Dean had been younger he would have stayed in touch maybe. Let me know what you think by pressing the little purple nurple…lol


	12. Chapter 12

Sam woke slowly, the room was in semi darkness it took him a moment to realise that he wasn't in any room he recognised, he began to panic as he remembered what had happened to him

" Jess, Jess!! " he yelled

" Calm down, you're safe " a calloused hand soothed through his hair, Sam raised a confused face to the voice

" Dad ? What……..is that you ? " Johns tired but smiling face came into view as he turned on the bedside lamp

" Yeah son its me, I was at Jims when the hospital called looking for someone for you. Do you remember anything ? " Sam frowned and eyed his father with suspicion

" Christo " he said under his breath, John gave him an amused grin. Sam relaxed into his fathers touch when he didn't react to the Latin word

" I'm not possessed son, you're safe. I……….I'm sorry but your girlfriend was killed in the fire " Sam swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, he felt the sting of tears in his eyes and closed them tightly, but the offending tears slipped from his eyelids like small streams, he nodded,

" I know, she……she………. it……….it was a demon dad " John stopped stroking his sons hair

" You're sure ? " he asked

" Yeah, I'm sure. Dad he, she had yellow eyes " John froze, it couldn't be, not now, why now ?

" Sam this is important, are you sure it had yellow eyes ? " Sam locked eyes with his father and nodded

" Oh yeah. I'm sure he got real close to me, said it wasn't my time yet, that he had plans for me and Dean"

" Did he say what ? " Sam shook his head, then looked around the room

" Where's Dean ? "

" He's safe, he's training he doesn't know you where hurt yet "

" Why ? "

" He's not exactly here. Look I'll explain but not here, I'm going to go get the doctor get him to check you over " John turned to leave the room but was stopped by Sam's small voice,

" Dad ? "

" Yeah ? "

" How did I get out ? From the fire I mean ? " Sam began to play with the blanket not meeting his dads eyes, he felt a hand on his shoulder

" I was in the area, just checking up on you, saw the fire "

" You pulled me out ? Wait , what ? I thought you said they called you at Pastor Jims " John sighed and pulled a chair close to his sons bed. He sat down heavily in it and met his sons eyes

" I…. " he cleared his throat, why was it so hard to tell his son that he'd check up on him from time to time, make sure his boy was safe " Look Sam the last time we saw each other I said some really bad things, things I didn't mean. I was proud of you Sam, but I was scared as well. You were leaving and I couldn't protect you anymore, couldn't keep you safe. My temper got the best of me " John looked at his hands, tears misting his vision " But I NEVER wanted you gone son, I'm sorry about that I really am, I just wish…………never mind. So anyway I was in the area checking up on you, saw the flickering lights and then the flames, when I got in there you were unconscious on the floor so I got you out then called 911. I just wish I'd got there sooner, should have recognised the signs or something "

" Don't blame yourself dad, its not your fault I……………….I just……" John sat on the bed Sam's tears were flowing freely down his face now, John couldn't stand to see his son in this much pain. He knew how this felt, how it felt to have your heart ripped out, to see the woman you loved murdered before your useless eyes. He pulled Sam into a hug, cradled him to his chest.

" Its not your fault either Sam, don't blame yourself for this. We'll find the bastard and make him pay for screwing with this family ". The young hunter held tighter to his father taking comfort in the smell of leather and his dads musky aftershave, John ran a comforting hand up and down his sons back, when he heard Sam's breathing calm he pulled back

" I'm going to go get the doc "

" Okay ".

John left the room and Sam sat back in the bed letting his head rest on the pillow he let out a sigh, he felt suddenly cold and alone. He'd promised Jess he would protect her and failed her, just like he'd failed Dean. He was useless, what could a demon possibly want with him ? He felt his eyes sting again, he was going to have to tell his father everything, about how Jess was involved, she said she loved him, but had she ? Was he just a mission to her ? Had she really killed her own mother ? If he'd told her about his life before he met her would it have made any difference ? Would she have confessed sooner ? He put a trembling hand to his dizzy head and pinched the bridge of his nose, his mind was reeling from a dozen questions he had no answers to, nor did he think he could get them.

The door to his room opened and John walked in with the doctor following him, Sam was lay back against his pillows his usual tan skin pale, he had dark smudges under his eyes, which he opened now and looked to his dad. Brown eyes filled with a pain that John knew he had no possible antidote or vocabulary for , and how he wished he could spare his son this kind of pain. The same pain that he felt about Mary, that seemed to consume your very soul, making it feel heavy in your skin, weighing you down. It was like being on a downward spiral with no way to stop or move back upwards. It was just taking you further down into the darkness, and John wanted his son to feel the light.

John was just glad that he'd gone to check on him whilst Dean was away doing his training with Michael, something in his gut told him to go and John obeyed it, he'd always listened to his gut it had never failed him. When he was in the marines his nickname had been 'Sniffer', they said he was like a hunting dog always being able to sniff out any trouble before it happened. It had saved his and their lives countless times and John had never ignored the feeling he got from it. Missouri said it was a latent ability and he was probably a sensitive, not a full psychic but had the tendencies.

" How are you feeling Sam ? " the doctor asked as he ran practised hands over Sam and checking his vitals

" Fine I guess " Sam said , he kept his eyes on his father who was stood behind the doctor " When can I get out of here ? "

" I want to keep you in for at least a couple of days. Make sure there no damage to your lungs from the smoke "

" I can check myself out though right ? " the doctor stopped what he was doing and looked at Sam

" I'd strongly advise against that Mr Winchester. You've just been pulled from a fire and although your lungs show no damage at the moment I'd prefer you stay here so if any problems should present themselves you'd get treatment straight away " Sam sighed heavily

" Look I appreciate what you're saying, but I feel fine and if I should start to feel bad my dad will take me to the nearest medical facility. Trust me nothing gets past him " he said with a small smile. John raised a brow at his son then gave a smirk, he was right there was no way that John would let his son suffer and he'd be under his eagle eye, until he returned back to school that was but that wouldn't be for a few months yet.

" I'll watch him doc, I've got some field medic training I know what to look out for "

" I can see I'm not going to win this argument " the doctor sighed " I'll go get the papers for you to sign, but I want it documented that I 'strongly' advise against this "

" I'll take it into consideration " Sam said with a grin, the doctor shook his head and left the room muttering under his breath. John gave his son a smile,

" I'll go get you something to wear unless you want to wear that " he said gesturing to the hospital robe, Sam shook his head

" Clothes would be good. Err dad ? "

" Yeah ? "

" We going to the farm? "

" Is that okay ? That's what I planned on us doing "

" No, I mean yeah that's fine. Its just………..there are things I need to tell you, about what happened, about Jess "

" Its okay Sammy we got plenty of time for all that " he placed a comforting hand on Sam's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

" Dad, does……does Dean hate me ? " he asked in a smile almost childlike voice, John looked his son in the eye

" He could never hate you Sam, he's angry and hurt that you ignored him but he's never hated you "

" But I didn't ignore him, I didn't even know he'd written to me. Jess hid his letters I found them the night she was killed, I confronted her about it……….It…she….oh God I should have wrote to him but I was so scared that you….that you'd not let him have the letters I was an idiot " Sam put his face in his hands hot tears once again tracing over his pale cheeks.

" Sam, lets sort this out when we're out of here okay. We'll be at Jims soon and you can talk to your brother. Look Sammy we all made mistakes with this mess but we're together again now, and when you go back to school we'll keep in touch. Maybe Dean and I can even move near school to be near you " Sam looked at his father in shock , John gave a brief smile and left a shocked Sam still staring at the door he'd left through. His dad was talking about maybe settling down so they could all be together, but Sam didn't want to go back to school, he didn't think he could after what had happened. But he'd give it time he had a lot of making up to do with his brother, he just hoped his father was right and that Dean didn't hate him. He'd have to explain himself, explain why he hadn't wrote to him, why he hadn't called, he just hoped that Dean could forgive him.

The ride back to the farm was filled with much talking from Sam he told his dad all about how Jess had been involved with the demon, his father had stayed silent throughout Sam's tale and when Sam finally finished Sam was surprised when John said quietly,

" She loved you Sam, I'm sure of that. She made a bad choice, I'm sure she didn't even know that she'd made a deal with the demon, but don't think she didn't love you "

" But how do you know dad ? I mean how do you know for sure ? " he asked quietly, he wanted to believe his father but his own demons were whispering in his ear

" I talked to her once, she didn't shut up about you " he smiled, and gave a brief look to his son, Sam's mouth was hanging open at his fathers admission.

" You….you talked to her ? When ? How did you get on the subject of me ? " he asked raising his eyebrows in surprise. John gave a full smile his dimples deepening at the look on his sons face it was one of those Kodak moments,

" Well I had to make sure she wasn't a demon or anything, I said I was a reporter for a local paper interviewing random students about their time at the university and what they were enjoying and what they weren't. It was her that brought you up. Started to say the best thing about being here was meeting her boyfriend he was the best thing in her life and she wouldn't change it "

" Thanks dad " Sam smiled gently then a sowl crossed his features " you thought my girlfriend was a demon ? "

" Well……..no…..but I had to make sure you were safe. You're my son and I wanted the best for you and if that meant interviewing your girlfriend I was going to do it " John saw Sam stiffen and waited for the argument he could see brewing in his sons eyes, he hadn't really wanted to admit that he'd interviewed Jess in fact he didn't want his son to know anything about it. But he had to make sure that she was good enough for his son and after meeting her he realised just what his son saw in the blonde girl.

" So you're the sexy reporter she went on about for two weeks, she made me get a damn paper everyday looking for that dang article " John chuckled

" She thought I was sexy huh? " he grinned when Sam scowled " Just shows she had good taste " he laughed when Sam choked

" DAD !! That's just wrong "

" What's wrong ? " John asked with raised brows his eyes twinkling in amusement,

" You're….well…you're old enough to be her father " John shrugged then smirked

" Okay so I'm older than she is, doesn't mean I can't admire the view " Sam made a choking noise as if the comment had made him gag,

" Please no more, its just too weird that my girlfriend thinks………thought that my dad was sexy " he said the last part quietly a dark mist descending on his mind. John cleared his throat and turned the radio on a cassette was sticking out and John pushed it in 'Metallica' came blaring out John winced and turned the music off Sam was grinning at him again

" Take it Deans been playing his music again "

" I don't know where he gets his taste from " John said shaking his head wearily.

The rest of the journey was done in companionable silence stopping for food, gas and bathroom breaks along the way. It took them a few days to reach the farm and Sam was nervous about seeing his brother, his father still hadn't mentioned what he had meant by Dean was training and that he wasn't really here, Sam had asked a few times to be told that all would be revealed when they got back to Jims farm.

It was early evening when they pulled in at the farm the lights where on in the kitchen and living room giving the house an inviting air. Sam took a deep breath and let it out slowly,

" Hey it'll be okay " John said " Come on lets go, I want to check on your brother "

" I thought you said he wasn't exactly here " Sam said confused, John sighed and led Sam into the house where he was greeted heartily by the Pastor,

" Samuel my boy, I'm so glad you're well. My condolences about your girlfriend son, I wish we could be seeing each other again under different circumstances "

" So do I " Sam breathed out as he returned the Pastors warm embrace. It felt like coming home, the farm had always been a special place for the Winchester boys, having spent most of their lives there with the Pastor who had become some what of a surrogate grandfather.

" If you need to talk Sam I'm a good listener " Jim said as he cupped the side of Sam's face, Sam gave a small smile

" Thanks , I'll keep that in mind. Okay dad, what the heck is going on ? Where's Dean ? "

" You haven't told him yet ? " Jim asked

" I was about to, I wanted us to be on safe ground before I said anything. Okay Sam son take a seat " John gestured to the couch and sat across from him in the easy chair, Jim sat in his usual rocking chair, Sam couldn't help but smile at the familiarity of it all.

" Okay dad I'm listening, what's going on ? "

" Your brothers training with an angel, Michael to be exact. I had a dream a few years back your mom……your mom came to me told me to expect someone, well an angel that would come and train your brother. I have to say I completely forgot about it until he actually turned up at the motel we we're staying at. He'd tried talking to your brother first but you know your brother " Sam snorted, he did indeed know his brother and he could just imagine how Dean would have reacted. He just wished he could have seen it. Then the whole Dean's being trained by an angel actually hit Sam

" Hang on a minute, Deans being trained by an angel ? Am I the only one who thinks this is all kinds of weird ? And where the hell is Dean exactly ? "

" Well " John started and looked at his hands " Yeah, I do think this is weird but you know how strange our lives are Sam is this so hard to believe ? Deans body is here but his spirit is with Michael, I'm not sure how it works exactly but he's okay, its like he's sleeping "

" How long has he been gone ? "

" About a week, probably nearer two to be precise , You remember Jims friend the doctor ? " he waited for Sam to nod before he continued " Well he's been round everyday since it happened checking on Dean, I'll tell you one thing though your brothers going to be mad as hell when he does come back to us "

" Oh, why's that ? "

" Well, he's in a type of coma you could say, so he's had to be fitted with a catheter and an IV pumping fluids into him to keep him hydrated "

" A co…..a coma !! Dad this is serious what if he doesn't wake up ? ",

" We can't think like that Sam, I know your brothers going to wake up and I know it'll be sooner rather than later. You just have to trust me son. Deans safe I'd never put you or your brother at risk. You know that don't you ? " John gave his son a pleading look and Sam had to admit that while some of his fathers choices may have been questionable he'd never willingly put either of his boys at risk.

" Yeah I know. Can I see him ? "

" Of course he's in your old room, go on up I'm going to help Jim with dinner I'll call you when its ready" Sam stood and left his father with the Pastor.

" Well, that went better than expected " Jim said with a smile on his face, John turned to him and had to agree he'd expected Sam to raise hell but the young hunter had accepted the information as if John had told him that Dean was away at baseball camp. It was a surprise to say the least. But John was glad that it had gone smoothly, they could concentrate on getting Dean back and prepare themselves for the next battle.

Sam entered the room that he and his brother had shared on many occasions, to anyone who didn't know any better Dean looked like he was in a deep sleep, his freckles stood out on his fair skin making him look years younger, he looked like the ten year old that had turned up at the farm house six years ago. So much had happened since then, Sam just hoped that they'd be able to be brothers again, like they had been before he'd left for Stanford.

He sat by the side of the bed and took Deans warm hand into his, rubbing his thumb across the smooth skin softly,

" Hey Dean, dad tells me your training with an angel at the minute. Man would I have loved to see you giving him hell when you met him " he chuckled softly " Listen Dean about the letters you wrote me, I……..I didn't get them till a few nights ago or I swear I would have wrote you back I should have done, and when you wake up I'm going to say this to you all over again just so I know that you heard me. I got so much to tell you " he leant back in his chair and let out a deep sigh and ran a tired hand over his face,

" Man I'm beat, think I'm going to get some shut eye before dad calls me for dinner, and I got to say Dean you so aren't going to live down having to wear a catheter !! " he chuckled as he lay on the other bed in the room and pulled the blanket over him. He watched the rise and fall of his brothers chest, his even breathing calming. Sam's breathing matched his brothers, his eyelids beginning to droop at the comfort he was getting just from being in the same room as him. It wasn't long before he was in a dreamless welcomed sleep, with the thought that everything was going to be alright. It had to be.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N; I'm really sorry that this took so long to update, I've been kinda lost with this story for a while now, and the chapters are taking some doing. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I want to thank you all for your patience. Only one chapter to go after this one, nearly there, and I promise that I will work on it this weekend. Then…crosses fingers….I'm going to finish of the other stories before I do the sequel to 'have you ever seen the rain'. So going to be busy. Anywho going to stop with the waffling now and let you get on with reading the story. Enjoy, and as always let me know what ya think.

Michael smiled at Dean " You've come along way Dean you're doing well, I'm proud of you " Dean eyed the angel with a strange look, was he being serious the smile that came to him did so before he could stop it. He wasn't used to getting praise from anyone, Michael gave him a pat on the shoulder and gestured that they should continue.

" How long do I have to go at this ? When can I go home ? " he asked

" Soon, I'm more than pleased with your progress, you've advanced well. I thought it'd take longer but you've proved me wrong I'm glad to say " Dean smirked, he always did like kicking those that underestimated him in the nuts, and if he got one over an angel with a reputation like Michaels then that was just great.

" What can I say ? I'm just awesome " he grinned when the angel rolled his blue eyes " Hey, can I ask you something ? "

" Sure, what ? "

" How come when I met you , you had grey eyes but now your eyes are blue ? "

" Why Dean how sweet of you to notice " Michael said batting his eyelashes, Dean blushed

" Shut up " he said embarrassedly , Michael grinned he was beginning to like this kid, he had guts and didn't back down to anyone or anything. He admired that.

" Well ? You going to answer my question or stand there batting your eyelashes like the girl you are ? " Dean asked grinning, still with a faint blush on his cheeks. Michael considered the question and shrugged

" To be honest I don't really know, it may have been a trick of the light on the earthly plains, here is how I truly appear so you see me as I am. People who come here usually change something about how they look" he paused and looked Dean up and down " You must be pretty happy with the way you look, you haven't changed a thing about yourself " Dean gave a shit eating grin and pointed to himself,

" Why mess with perfection " he said,

" Oh dear Lord what have you done to me ? " Michael groaned as Dean laughed,

" Dude, admit it. This is the best assignment you've ever had " Michael raised a dark brow his blue eyes bright in the light,

" Don't push your luck kid "

" Hey Mike ? "

" Yeah "

" Does it ever get dark here ? " Dean asked looking around " I'm pretty sure I've been here a while but I don't feel tired or hungry. What's up with that ? "

" We're on a higher plain here Dean so there's no need to rest or feed yourself its all taken care of. Your getting all you need just not in the way that you would normally "

" Whatever you say man " Dean said.

He cocked his head to the side, he could have sworn he just heard his brother talking to him, Dean shook his head and returned to his training.

Dean continued his training with Michael, but he still thought at times he could hear his brother talking to him, it was distracting and Dean was beginning to worry about why he could hear his brother,

" Hey Mike?''

" Yes Dean''

" I…..I keep thinking I can hear Sammy talk to me. Is that normal? I mean he's at Stanford right? He's safe'', Michael looked away refusing to meet the pleading look in Deans eyes,

" Michael? Sammy's at Stanford? Right?'', the angel let out a breath

" No Dean, he's at your bedside at the farm''

" What? Why?''

" There was an incident at your brothers apartment, and his girlfriend was killed'', Dean gasped, his breaths coming in panicked gasps,

"Was it………was it Azazel?'', Michael nodded knowing what was coming next,

" Is my training over? I need to get back to Sammy he needs me''

" You're nearly there Dean, not long to go now, and you'll be ready, but you have to be prepared. This fight with Azazel won't be easy'',

" Ah come on Michael, I'm ready now, I can take the yellow eyed bastard, my brother needs me''

" Have you forgotten that he left you?'' Michael asked crossing his arms over his expansive chest, his eyes piercing into Dean. Dean shifted under the gaze, his eyes looking to the floor,

" No'' he whispered " I hadn't forgotten that'' Dean lifted his green eyes to meet the angels, they were determined and focused " But he's my brother, he needs me, now please send me home. I'll take care of Azazel, I know I'm ready''. Michael sighed,

" I'm not going to change your mind on this one am I?'' the angel asked, Dean grinned

" Nope. So you'll send me back?''

" I will, against my better judgement, but I'll send you home'',

" Good'' Dean said rubbing his hands together " So what do I do? Click my heels together and say there's no place like home three times?'', Michael shot the sixteen year old a glare,

" No of course not'', he reached over and placed two fingers on Deans forehead, Dean felt like he was tumbling backwards, then felt like he landed with a jump.

When he opened his eyes, Sammy had his head resting on the bed near to Deans hand. Dean reached over and ran his fingers through the chestnut locks,

" Dude, you so need a haircut'' he chuckled, Sam stirred when he felt fingers moving through his hair, when he heard his brothers voice he sat upright making himself go dizzy.

" Dean, you're awake''

" Always were observant weren't ya Sammy?'' he grinned, Sam threw himself at his brother,

" Are you okay? Where did you go? Are you done?''

" Geez Sam, let a guy take a leak first will ya before the twenty questions start'', Sam blushed

" Oh, right, sorry'' Sam rolled off his brother and allowed him to climb off the bed and head into the bathroom. When Dean came back Sam was sat back in his chair and gazing out the window.

" I'm sorry about your girlfriend Sam''

" How……….how did you know?'' Sam asked surprised

" I was told. How long was I gone this time?''

" Not long. Couple of weeks'', Dean let out a long breath

" That's good. I'm ready Sam, I'm ready to kill this demon. Make him pay for all the damage he's caused'' Sam nodded,

" So, you finished your training then?''

" Yeah, more or less. But I'm ready, I know I am'',

" Where did you go?'' Sam asked curiously, he cocked his head to one side, reminding Dean of when Sam had been the younger brother, he rubbed at the back of his neck,

" Not sure to be honest. Looked like a forest or something, but I'm not sure. Mike was pretty evasive when it came to the whole where am I stuff'',

" Mike?'' Sam asked confused

" Yeah, Michael, you know as in arch angel'',

" Michael!?'' Sam squeaked " And….and he lets you call him Mike?''

" Well actually, he kinda hates that I call him Mike, but he puts up with it'' he smirked, Sam shook his head

" Only you could get away with giving an arch angel a nick name''

" Hey, I'm a loveable kinda guy, where's dad?'',

" Downstairs, I'll go get him if you like''

" Nah, it's okay. I want to stretch my legs a bit''.

The two Winchesters headed downstairs into the kitchen, John was talking to the pastor, well arguing about whether Judas was to be as victimised as most people believed he should be, Jim stopped mid flow when he saw the amused expressions on both boys faces. John turned round, his face developed a full dimpled smile,

" Well if it isn't sleeping beauty. Thought I was going to have to kiss you to wake you up champ'' he said as he ruffled Deans hair,

" Ah, come on dad, I wanted to wake up not turn into a frog''

" Very funny'' John said, but he was smiling as he said it,

" I thought so'' Dean grinned,

" It's good to be back dad, now when we going after yellow eyes?'',

" Dean, you just woke up'' Sam said a little annoyed

" So? Your point is?''

" My point is, you need to get your strength up Dean, we should prepare''

" Your brothers right Dean'', Dean stared wide eyed at his father

" You need to rebuild your strength''

" Okay….did I wake up in some alternate universe? Since when did you two agree on anything? Jim, what do you think?'', Jim smiled at the younger Winchester,

" Same reality my boy, and I agree with your father and brother. Besides'' he began as Dean opened his mouth to protest " We don't even know where the demon is, and until then there's nothing we can do. It hasn't resurfaced since…..well since the accident at Sams apartment. It may take some time'',

" Fine, fine, I'll take some down time'' he said as he threw himself into the kitchen chair,

" Don't pout Dean'' John said, trying hard to keep the smirk off his face

" I'm not pouting'' Dean sulked " Hey Jim, is there anything to eat?, I'm starving'', Jim grinned

" How about a burger and fries? My treat'' he said smiling at the delight on Deans face,

" Extra onions?'' Dean asked

"Of course. Is there any other way to eat a burger?''

" Not that I know of'' Dean grinned.

Two hours later everyone was fed and relaxing on the porch, John turned to his son,

" So you going to tell us what you learned?'', Dean leaned back in his seat and gave a leisurely stretch, his hands held high above his head. He gave his dad his trademark shit eating grin,

" I learned to kick ass dad'', John raised a brow,

" Oh. Think you could take me?'' John asked getting to his feet, Dean paused a moment before he also rose

" I think I could hold my own'' he replied,

" Without using your powers?'' John asked

" Yeah, course. Can't always rely on them can I?'', John grinned,

" No, you can't'' he said as he walked into the yard, he waited until Dean was down the steps and then made his attack.

Dean managed to block his dads attack and countered it by leg sweeping John, John went down, but with a wide grin flipped himself back onto his feet again. Dean went in with a few jabs, which John easily blocked, he didn't see the spinning kick until he was on his butt on the dusty yard floor, he grinned up at Dean

" Nice kick son',

" Thanks dad'' Dean beamed, then found himself on the floor next to his father,

" Dirty moves dad, so not cool'', John laughed

" Oh you think in a real fight they won't play dirty?''

" Good point'' Dean said as they both got to their feet. The sparring match continued until both Winchesters were sweaty and panting.

" Okay, I call a tie'' Sam said,

" Hell no'' they both yelled, and stepped up their game, it was John who found himself on the floor pinned by a surprised Dean,

" Good job son, you did real well''

"Thanks dad'' Dean smiled brightly as he helped his dad to his feet, John clapped him fondly on the shoulder.

" This demon doesn't stand a chance'' John grinned, the three Winchesters entered the farm house unaware of the figure at the bottom of the drive, the man smirked, his yellow eyes glowing with a growing menace.

" Oh I'll be seeing you all real soon boys, and then John Winchester you will beg me to end your life, and your boys will be mine''.


End file.
